Bacon

The kids made up a new song this morning during breakfast.

"I love bacon!  I love bacon!  You're my only pig!
I love bacon!  I love bacon!  You're my only pig!"

We are shameless carnivores in this household.

Outhouse

I'm potty training Chicken.

Me:  If you need to go potty at the park just tell me, Chicken, I'll bring the little potty with us and put it in the car.

Edee:  What if I need to go potty?

Me:  You can use the outhouse there. 

Edee:  Oh I LOVE da outhouse!  It's my fav-wit kind of potty!!

Me:  Oh really....

Edee:  Yeah, you don't have to wash your hands with soap and water, you dust get to use the sand hanitizer.  And you dust have to wipe and don't have to fluss.  I love dat.  I love dat you get to use sand hanitzer and dust have to wipe and NOT fluss.  It's my fav-wit.

Oh Edee.....I feel like this love of outhouses won't be long-lasting.  But the passion was impressive!

Mars

Edee:  Mom I know the stars are made up of fire.  What else?
Me:  Mmmm....hot gas.
Edee:  How do you spell that? And fire?

I spell it for her so she can write it down.  We go through the same thing with the sun.

Edee:  I'm taking notes.
Me:  Your'e doing a great job.
Edee:  What is Mars made of?
Me: Well...rock.
Edee:  Right.  And it has flowing water.  How do you spell that?
Me:  Yeah!  I think...I think they did discover flowing water recently!  Who told you that? Me? Or Daddy?
Edee:  Sci Show.  I yearned it on Sci Show, I remember it said dere was flowing water on Mars.   I watch it with Daddy. It's my fav-wite show.  It's Daddy's fav-wite show too!
Me:  Huh.  Well then.  I'm impressed.

I usually would gaff at Daddy when he said that watching his youtube shows "with" the kids was a worthwhile activity.  I *might* have just been proven wrong.

Blinking

As bedtime approaches, Chicken can't suppress his exhaustion most of the time.  Recently he's been falling asleep snuggled up to me.

Me: Come on, Chicken.  Bedtime.
Chicken:  No, I not tired.
Me:  You were falling asleep on my lap.
Chicken:  No.... I dust blink-een.....I dust blink-een.....

Tonight he told me the same thing as I caught him asleep.   He insisted he was just "blinking".

Hungry Games

Chicken:  I want to watch da tain (train) movie.
Me:  What train movie?
Edee:  He wants da Kiss-mas one.  Da Kiss-mas tain movie.
Me:  What, the Polar Express?  No, let's not watch that until Christmas.
Chicken:  WAH!!  NO!! Not DAT tain one!  Da one where dey sing 'bout tains!!  Wah! Wah Wah!
Edee:  He wants da Mommy show where dey sing 'Choo Choo Go'.
Me:  Ha ha...You want to watch 'Choo Choo Go'?  (It's a Hunger Games Bad Lip Read we've watched one too many times....but it's been awhile since we've watched it).
Chicken:  Yeah!  Dat one!
Edee:  I want to watch the Mommy one.
Me:  Okay we'll watch 'Choo Choo Go'.
Edee:  No, no no.  I mean the movie......I want to watch  'Hungry Games'.
Me: (ha ha ha) You are too young to watch that.
Chicken: No! I want da awt-word (awkward) one.
Me:  Okay, that's fine, we can watch that one (They say "awkward in the BLR, and we usually all laugh about it).
Edee:  Wait, Mom, what does 'awk-word' mean?

How could I not document this conversation?

Lick

Chicken speaks really well for a newly-three-year-old.  He has a pretty good vocabulary, and can articulate better than Edee in some cases.  But there is one word he cannot get a grasp on, no matter how many times I correct him.

Chicken:  My dog keeps on looking me!!  And he looking my Dum Dum Yucker!
Me:  Your dog is licking you.  liiiiiick.   ih.  ih.  liiiiiiiick.
Chicken:  Liii......see,  he looking me!  He keep looking me wit his tongue!
Me: .......liiiiiick.

No avail.  And the best is when he's talking about wanting to eat some "look-orish", AKA "licorice".

Chuck E. Cheese

We've never been to Chuck E. Cheese.

 Up until this past week, my kids didn't have clue what it was.    While at Joy School, the mom is charge was teaching about feelings, and was trying to prompt them to think of some positive feelings.  She then asked how the kids would feel if their mom and dad told them they were going to Chuck E. Cheese.  Her son jumped up and yelled "excited!!", while Edee and their other friend looked utterly perplexed.  After realizing her error, my friend apologetically confessed to us that she had ended up explaining what Chuck E. Cheese is.

You can imagine how my day has been today.

Edee:  Mom!  I weally want to go to Cheddah Cheese!
Me:  You....want some cheddar cheese?
Edee:  No no no.  I want to go dere.  Da fun place where you get to pay games!
Me:  Oh Chuck E. Cheese.  Er....
Edee: Yah!  I weally want to go dere!!  It sounds SO much fun!

I chose to ignore her from here on out and act like I didn't know what she was talking about.

Maybe an hour later:

Edee:  Mom!  Where else are we going today?
Me:  I told you where we are going.  Speech then the store.
Edee: No.  No no no.  AFTER dat.
Me:  Nowhere else.
Edee:  AWE!!!  Mom, yet's go to Chunky Cheese.
Me:  Ha...uh...Chunky Cheese, you say?
Edee:  Yeah!  YES!  I weally want to to to CHUNKY CHEESE!  It sounds like so much fun!!  Pleeeeeeeeease!  Please can we go? (etc, etc, etc).
Me:  Sorry, no.

I hold no malice towards the mom who spilled the beans.  I'm realizing more and more that us moms all do stuff like this to one degree or another!!

Hawaii

Edee watched the movie Lilo and Stitch recently.

Edee:  Mom, can we go to Hawaii?
Me:  Not any time soon.
Edee:  AWWWW.  Why not?  I want to go dere!!
Me:  It's far away.  Go get the globe I'll show you.  See?  It's far.
Edee:   I weally want to go dere! I never been dere before!!! I want to surf!!
Me:  I know. I'm sorry...it's far away.  I'm sure you'll go there someday.  In the meantime we have plenty of super fun beaches close to us...
Edee:  But do all of da pee-pull surf in Hawaii?
Me:  No, but I'm sure lots of people surf in Hawaii.
Edee:  AWWWW!!  No one surfs here! I want to go dere weally weally bad!!!  I've never been dere in all my life!!! I've never been surf-een!! (She's thrown herself on the floor at this point, sobbing dramatically)
Me:  Wow, Edee....calm down....I know how you feel, I really do, but goodness, you are only four years old!

We had a similar conversation not long after this about Australia : /

Tie

Chicken:  Yook Edeee, I'm wearin' my tie.
Edee:  Oh....do you want to dance with me?
Chicken:  No.  I can't.
Edee:  Yes you can, you wearin' a tie.  I'll go get my sparkly dess on.  Wait for me to get dessed.

A few minutes later Edee and Chicken come up the stairs holding hands, decked out for church  a royal ball.

Edee:  Mom, we are da prince and da princess.  (They do a few spins and turns)
Chicken:   Yee-ha!

Sometimes they are just too much!

Potty Training

I've charged Edee with helping Chicken potty train.  She's all in--she knows that if he goes on the potty and she helps that she also getting a treat.

Chicken is sitting on the potty.  Edee is turning the water on in the sink.

Me:  What are you doing?
Chicken:  Edee goin' get the toy full a wadder, and make me laugh, den I poop.
Edee:   Yoook Chicken!  Laugh so much dat you poop!

She proceeds to stick a foam toy on the wall.

Chicken:  Aaahahahahahahahahahaha ah ha ha ha (fake laugh....turns into a momentary real laugh).   Ah.  At-you-ee (actually), it did not work.
Edee:  How 'bout dis?  (She proceeds to bonk him on the head with the foam toy).
Chicken: Ah ah ha ha ha.....uh, not working.  I cannot poopsie.....
Edee:  Hmmm.....yet's see....yook I'm doing some-ting so funny.
Chicken:  Ah ha ha ha ha ha (still fake).
Edee:  Keep on puh-sing and puh-sing.
Chicken:  La la la....grrrr!  Grr!   ....I peed in da potty!  Mommy, I peed!
Me:  Good job.
Chicken:  I peed Edee!  We get a Dum Dum Yuckah!  Dank you Edee!
Edee:  You're welcome.

So far, so good.  Too bad their motivation tapers out at about 9 am after the first treat....

Honey

Lately I've been hearing Chicken call Edee "Honey" every now and again.  From what I can tell, it's part of a pretend game they play where he's the dad and she's the daughter.   Here's just a snippet of the kinds of things I hear and observe:

Edee goes darting up the stairs.  Chicken is banging a heat vent with a plastic hammer.

Chicken:  Where are you goin' honey?
Edee:  Up 'tairs!
Chicken:  To get your pants!?

He continues to bang away.
She comes back down a moment later...wearing pants this time.

Edee:  Daaaad.  You're in da basement, silly.
Chicken.  I an tight-ing it.  Syee?  You ha' pants now?
Edee:  Yeah.
Chicken:  I am in da attic
Edee:  No you in da basement.
Chicken:  Oh yeah.  Yook, it not tight-end.
Edee: I will go get some more tools, Chicken.
Chicken:  No, I da dad!
Edee:  Dad, I will go get more tools.....here are some talkie walkies!!!
Chicken:  Kid!  Kid!! Come here, honey!
Edee:  What dad?
Chicken:  I'm da dad, so I like mice.
Edee:  Are you a cat?
Chicken:  No a dad.  WE like mice.
Edee:  Why do we eat mice?
Chicken:  Ugh.  Because kid!  Because honey, dey are good for us.

What an interesting interpretation of fatherhood.

Phone

Chicken:  Mom, is dis a weal phone?
Me:  It was...it was Daddy's old phone, but it doesn't work anymore.  It's just a pretend phone now.
Chicken:  Yeah it's my pretend phone now.
Me:  You need to share it with Edee too. No more fighting over it.
Chicken:  But I need da pretend phone.
Me:  How come?
Chicken:  Because I yike to play pretend games on it.

Needless to say, the pretend phone (with it's pretend games) is fought over frequently here.  I don't mind as much since at least it's not MY phone!  They can be on 'their phone' the entire day for all I care!!

Baby Sauce

It's been an interesting morning so far, and it hasn't even reached 7 am yet.  Sometime before 5:30 Chicken woke up crying about how he really wanted the bread with butter.  I tried consoling him that it was just a dream, but by then his 'nose hurt'.....so now we are laying downstairs on the couch.  I had hoped he'd fall back to sleep, but so far he's inquiring about some issues that have been bothering him.

Chicken:  Do all peah-puhl like baby sauce?
Me:  Do all people like baby sauce...?
Chicken:  Yeah.  Do dey?
Me:  No, not all people like baby sauce.
Chicken:  (starting to cry)  Why?  Why do dey not like dems?
Me:  Do you like them?
Chicken: Yumtimes I do and yumtimes I do not....Yumtimes it gives me a tummy ache and I have to go to da dockers.
Me:  Oh, okay.

I'm pretty sure 'baby sauce' is the name Edee gave those apple sauce/fruit purees that come in a pouch.  She does not like them and Chicken does.  Obviously Chicken is perplexed by this....

Fun

Edee:  Mom!  Where else are we going today?
Me:  Nowhere else.
Edee:  What!!??  Why aren't we going anywhere else!!?
Me:  Edee. Good grief, we've barely been home today.  We spent all morning with friends on a hike.  I bought you guys lunch.  You went to speech and played on the playground for a long time.  Plus you played outside with the new trikes for an hour.  Where else would you want to go today?
Edee:  I don't know, somewhere else!
Me:  Honey, we did lots of fun things today and it's getting close to dinner. Please be grateful!
Edee:  I am gateful!  ....I dust haven't had enough fun yet.....

Sheesh.  When someone discovers a source of endless fun, please pass the knowledge along to me.  I have a four year old who thinks she's in desperate need.

Cheese

Edee:  I'm hungry!
Me:  What would you like to eat?  Yogurt or cheese and crackers?
Edee:  Cheese and cackers.  Hot.  And....heavy on da teese.
Me:  Heavy on the cheese, huh? (she's never used this expression before)
Edee: .....yeah.
Me:  Hmm. Alright.

I prepare her Triscuits with more cheese than usual and heat it up in the microwave to melt the cheese.  This is a common lunch for my kids when I can't think of anything else to feed them.

Me:  Here you go.
Edee:  Hey...I said heavy on da teese!
Me:   Yes.  Look at those crackers.  They are very heavy with cheese.
Edee: .....Mom....what does 'heavy on the teese' mean?
Me:  It means there's a lot of cheese.  Why did you ask for it if you didn't know what it meant?
Edee:  I heard it on Strawberry Shortcake.
Me:  Mmmm.  I see.

F-bomb

Edee:  Mom, what is an F-bomb?
Me: What.
Edee:  What is a F-bomb?
Me: Where did you hear that?
Edee:  You said it mom!
Me:  ME!?
Edee:  Yeah, you were talking on da phone and said someone was dropping an F-bomb and we had to drive away.
Me:  What....
Edee:  In da car at Target!
Me:  Oh....oh yeah....

The memory flooded back:  We were in the car, at the light outside the Target Parking lot, one car behind me, another to the side of me.  Apparently one cut off the other in the parking lot and there was a lot of honking and yelling surrounding us.  I had answered a phone call at the time and told my friend I needed to call her back since a fight was brawling, and people were getting out of their car and dropping the F-bomb at each other and we were in the middle.   This happened at least one, if not two months ago.

Me:  Oh, okay I remember.  The 'F-bomb' is a bad word people say.
Edee:  Why is it bad?
Me:  It's not a nice word... and causes people to feel sad or angry.
Edee:  So why do people drop it?
Me: Er, well....they say it...to 'drop it' is an expression...because bombs are dropped before they explode.....but um..... they just shouldn't say it because it's not a nice word.

Not a thing goes by these kids, I'll tell you! It's a wonder that it's been swirling around her mind for this long, wondering about it.  I'm glad she remembered the expression "F-bomb" opposed to the full expletive being shouted around us!  Not ready for that!

Leg

Chicken's seasonal allergies seem to be acting up.  Ragweed is out, apparently.  I've been giving him Children's Claritin in the morning.

Chicken:  *coughing and sputtering*
Me:  You okay, Chicken?
Chicken:  Yeah.  My froat.
Me:  Sounds like your medicine went down the wrong pipe, eh?
Edee:  Down da wong pipe!?
Me:  Yeah--there are two different "pipes" in your throat.  One is called your trachea and goes to your lungs, the other is called your esophagus and helps get food and drinks to your stomach.  Sometimes you cough if you drink something that blocks the air to your trachea; we say, 'it's going down the wrong pipe'.
Edee:  OOOOhh.

About an hour later, driving to church.

Chicken:  My LEG!! My leg hurts!!
Me:  Aw.  What's wrong?
Chicken:  Da Medayine!
Me: I don't think you need any medicine for it buddy...just tell me what's wrong.
Chicken:  Dere's medayine IN my leg!
Me:  Okay when we get to church we'll hang you upside down and shake it out.
Chicken:  NO!
Me:  I'm kidding....what's wrong with your leg?
Chicken:  Wah!! Da medayine in dere!

Then it dawns on me that when I was explaining the different pipes that morning he must have heard and internalized "legs" instead of "lungs"...

Me:  Oh, did your medicine go down the wrong pipe into your leg?
Chicken:  Yeah!!  It did!!
Me:  Ah ha ha ha.

Oh Chicken.  He's the best.  Daddy and I got a good laugh out of that one.

Happily Sipping

Edee:  Mom, did you know dat miwk is in da handle of da miwk dug (milk jug)?
Me:  Yeah, that's pretty cool about milk, huh?
Edee:  No, it's not dust miwk, it's any dink (drink) in da dug.
Me:  You are right about that.  Any liquid in the jug would go into the handle if full enough.
Edee:  Yeah, and in da coffee dugs too.
Me:  Mug.  Well, most mugs don't have empty handles like milk jugs.
Edee:  Well, if you are in da office, happiwee sipping, da liquid or coffee could run down da handle of da mug.
Me:  Hmmm....okay.

I find this funny for a couple reasons.  1)  We don't drink coffee, yet she seems to know that most Americans, especially business Americans as it seems, are obsessed with coffee, and 2) the term "happily sipping" being part of the mental image she's expressing.

Dog Names

Edee and Chicken are looking at a book with a line of puppies.

Edee:  Dis one is named Rapunzel. This one is Belle.  This one is Anna.  This one is Elsa.
Chicken:  Dis one is named Poop.  And dat one is poop.

Is it obvious we have a girly girl and an all boy?

Bumble Bee

Me:  Good night Chicken.  You are such a sweet boy and I'm so proud of you.  You are going to grow up to be one amazing person.
Chicken:  Night Mommy.  You ah a 'weet Mommy.  You are goin' to gow up to be a bumble bee.
Me:  Did I mention that you are pretty darn funny, too?

Eyes

Edee has been curious lately about physical characteristics and what I mean when I say, "you have my mouth" or "you have your daddy's toes."  I've tried to give her a simple explanations about genetics before, but not sure it really sunk in.

I overheard Daddy trying to explain it to her.

Daddy:  Edee, where do you get your blue eyes from?
Edee (pointing to me and Daddy): You and you!
Me:  Chicken, where do you get your blue eyes from?
Chicken:  From Jesus.
Me:  Well that's true too.

Ice Cream Truck

We have always referred to the ice cream truck as "the music truck".   We've kept the ruse going for almost five years.  Note the Almost.

We were at the local lake when here it comes.

Edee:  Yay!  Da music tuck!
Chicken (Dancing):  Music tuck!!!
Me:  Yay!  Wahoo!
Some random kid nearby:  Mom!  Can I get some ice cream??
Some other random kid:  Ice cream truck!
Me:  Blast.
Edee:  .....Mom?  What's inside da music tuck?
Me:  What do you mean?
Edee:  Is dere ice keam inside da music tuck?
Me:  Mmmm....it's fun to listen to the music!
Edee:   Mommy, I think there's ice keam in da music tuck!
Me:  Yes....there is.  Most people call it an ice cream truck and can buy ice cream from it.

Defeated.

Lucky

Edee has been telling Chicken all about grown-up life and the real world lately.

Edee:  Chicken, did you know dat dere are some kids who don't have mommies and daddies?  And dere are some people dat don't have houses. And dey can't take good care of dere houses and dey don't yook nice, AND dey don't have mommies who bake for dem!! And no moms or dads.  And dey dust have junk food all da time, an no mommies to bake dem a cake.  We are yucky, Chicken, we have a mommy and daddy.
Chicken:  Yeah we are yucky!
Edee: Yeah and dey are not yucky!
Chicken:  Dey are not yucky!
Edee:  Yeah, dey are not yucky.  But we are yucky!
Chicken:  Yeah!

How can you NOT giggle listening to that serious conversation about how yucky lucky we are? :)

College

Apparently Edee-the-four-year-old is already thinking about her future quite extensively.  I can't even think of the last time there was any mention of college, but she has had lots of questions about it before.  Judging from this conversation I overheard her having with Chicken, it's safe to say that she is looking forward to growing up and moving out.

Edee (excitedly):  Chicken, when you go to cah-yedge (college) you will yearn how to cook, and you will yearn how to sew, and you will yearn how to shower, and how to be kind.  And how to climb a ladder, and hold your beff under water.  And how to use da potty yike a big boy!  And dere are yots of udder kids your same age and no mommies and daddies dere. And dere are classes in a lot of buildings, in Idaho!  Den you will go on a mission and grow up and go to work, dust yike daddy.   Does dat sound good, Chicken?
Chicken:  Yeah.

I'm so glad she already has this vision in mind and has the same sights for her brother.  We just got to keep it going for another 15 years...

Horse

Edee is playing with her stuffed horse.

Edee: Is Felipe a girl or a boy?
Me: A boy.
Daddy: I don't see any genitalia on it.
Me:  Ahem. Daddy. Okay, so there are no girl parts or boy parts on it, so it can be whatever you want.

She looks between the legs.

Edee: All boy horses are gay.

Daddy looks warily at me.

Me:  No, not all boy horses are gray.
Daddy: Thanks for translating, Mommy.

Lollipop

I gave Edee and Chicken lollipops for helping me clean up the living room.  I was really excited to see these, as I love the Tootsie Fruit Chews.

*by the way....to call them "pops", "lollies", "suckers", or just plain old "lollipops"?  I grew up with them being suckers, but I only hear them as lollies or pops out here.  I usually call them lollipops with my kids, as I'll soon illustrate*

Chicken started throwing a fit about wanting another lollipop.  I went with the good ol' distraction technique....and incidentally ended up going the extra mile.

Me:  What color was your lollipop?
Chicken: Owange!
Me:  What color was the inside?
Chicken:  Geen!
Me:  Ohhh cool!
Chicken:  I wan anudder owange one!!
Me:  Wait a minute, you never thanked Mommy for the lollipop you got.  Say 'Thank you Mommypop...' (it was a legitimate slip of the tongue). Thank you Mommypop? Ha ha! Thank you Mommypop!!!

Chicken and Edee burst out laughing.  I was feeling a bit grumpy about the whining but had to laugh right along with them.

Edee (putting her hands on my face):  Ah ha ha, OH Mommy, you're da best!!  You  make us yaff so much some times.  Dank you Mommypop.
Me:  Ha ha ha
Edee:  Dank you Mommytoy.
Chicken: Dank you Mommytoy!
Me: Say 'Thank you, Mommybean!' (I had also given them a few jellybeans)
Edee:  Dank you Mommybean!
Chicken: Dank you Mommybean!

And so the giggling continued and all thoughts of whining for another lollipop was forgotten.  Double win.

Squished

We try to be anatomically correct when referring to body parts, I think that's important with young kids.  But we aren't consistent like we should be and use various terms...so maybe we're not doing as well in this department as I though.  At least they'll be well-rounded, right?  I think mostly that this has caused Chicken some confusion.

Chicken:  WAAAH!  My peener hurts!
Me:  What?
Chicken:  My peener!  It 'quished!
Daddy:  SHHH!  Mommy get him to be quiet!
Chicken:  My peener quished in my diaper!!
Me:   Oh.  Ok.  Shh shh......let's fix your diaper.....

Of course it had to be smack in the middle of a quiet church meeting when this outburst occurred.

Tushie

Edee has a problem keeping her pants up.  We've tried many different kids of pants and have just kind of settled on wearing dresses more often.

One day as she was walking by with pants hanging low, I picked her up by her pants waist.

Me:  Pull up dem pants, girl!
Edee:  Awwww Mom!  You gave me a tushie!!
Me:  I gave you a tushie??
Edee:  Yeah!!
Me:  I gave you a bum??
Edee:  No you gave me the when my underwear id IN my bum!
Me:  You must mean a wedgie.
Edee: Ha ha ha ha, oh wight.   A wedgie. Ha ha ha.

As long as she knows and understands these things before kindergarten, we're good.

Fungi

We always seem to have the most interesting family discussions driving to church.  Today's initial topic: Fungi.

Edee:  Why are dere mushrooms?
Me:  They are a fungus.  They aren't plants, but the mushrooms grow kind of like plants.
Edee:  Why aren't they plants?
Me:  They are different...plants have different parts than fungi.  A lot of fungi help things decompose.  Like they eat dead trees and plants and animals and stuff.  To break it down so it can turn into dirt.
Edee:  Dey eat trees and animals? Why do dey do dat?
Me:  It.....well....okay, hmmmm..... you know how Simba's daddy tells him about the circle of life?  He tells them, "that the antelope eat the grass, and we eat the antelope, and when we die our bodies become the grass."  Remember that?  Then the antelope will eat the grass again, and the lions will eat the antelope, and when the lions die, fungi will help the body decompose and turn into grass.
Chicken:  Wa!  Mommy I don wan to be gass!!
Daddy:  You won't have to worry about that. If you die we'll probably put you in a box.
Me:  Daddy!!
Chicken:  WAAAAAA!!!!  (head down, *wimper, wimper*)
Me (to Daddy):  I cannot believe you just said that!
Daddy:  (laughs)
Chicken: (starting to cry louder)
Me:  Don't worry Chicken, you don't have to worry about that.....for a long time.....shh shh, you're okay.
Daddy:  (still laughing)
Chicken:  I don't want to be dead!
Me:  You are not going to die!.... well....you aren't going to die anytime soon....it's not anything you need to worry about right now!  Your spirit will go up to heaven so you don't have to worry about it and you'll be resurrected..... Daddy--stop laughing, it's not funny, he's devastated right now.  Ugh, why don't we just get a fail grade for parenting already and be done with it already!!?

The bad news is that Chicken may traumatized about death now, but the good news is that this just heightened Edee's interest in fungi.  If that can be considered good news....

At least we have a good family home evening topic picked out for tomorrow already: The Plan of Salvation :)

Cute...

Getting ready for the day.

Edee:  Mommy, do I look cute?
Me:  Yes, you look cute.
Edee:  And den everyone will see me and say, "Oh dat girl is so cute".
Me:  Uh....well....okay, so it's fun to look cute, but that's not what's important.  It's more important to be kind and loving and be like Jesus....

Later that day we are heading on a train downtown.  I see Edee looking out the window....only to notice she's admiring her own reflection in the window.  Little head tosses and batting eyelashes and all.

How did we get to this point, and how do we make it stop?

Love

Bedtime snuggling with Chicken--

Chicken:  Mommy, I luff you a yot of many times.
Me:  I love you a lot of many times too.  What would I do without my Chicken?
Chicken:  Get on a tain (train).  I would get on a geen (green) tain by my yelf (self).  And den I would go up.  Den I would say, 'Mommy, come wiff me.'
Me:  Oh, okay.  I would come with you.

I definitely feel the love from my little guy.  

Happy Birthday America

We started celebrating the Fourth of July a couple days early since we have a long weekend. We went to see fireworks on the 2nd (which was terrifying for two year old Chicken--who had his hands tightly clamped over his ears, mouth and eyes shut).  He hopped up when it was over and clapped his hands, yelling "Happy Birthday America!" with the rest of us, more happy that it was over than anything.

This morning (the 3rd) I made the kids American Flag pancakes--nothing fancy--leftover pancakes from the fridge with blueberries, strawberries, and bananas "striped" on it.

As I'm taking a picture:

Me:  Chicken, say "Happy Birthday America!!"
Chicken:  Happy Bur-day Ame-wica!
Me (as I set down my phone):  Good job!
Chicken:  Wait!  I wan to say it to him!!
Me:  No....no one is on the phone.  America isn't a person!
Chicken: But I wan to say it to him!  He be sad!!!
Edee:  Ha ha ha!!  Ha ha Chicken.....why isn't America a person?

I try to give the simplest explanation I could, which of course ended up being complicated and lengthy instead.

Me:  .....I know it's hard to understand.  You'll understand at some point.
Edee:  Okay.....um.   Mom,  I don't understand yet.
Me:  I meant sometime when you're older.

So much confusion in the world!  But really, what do they care?  They get fireworks and treats and that's what really matters when you are two and four.

Disaster

Edee and I have a tradition where we paint our toenails red, white, and blue for the 4th of July.  This year, after Edee's insistence, I let her paint her nails by herself.  She's four and a half.  You can imagine how it went.  I stifled the annoyed feeling, laughed instead and grabbed my phone to take a picture.

Me:  Hold still Edee, I want to get a picture.

Edee:  Awwww Mom!!  No!! It is a disaster!!!

Me:  Ha, what?  A disaster?  Did I say that?

Edee:  No, I did.

Me:  No, I know you did, but did I just say it before you?

Edee:  No.  I just said it.

Me:  Ha ha okay.  Maybe it is a little bit of a disaster.

--pause-

Edee:  What's a disaster?

Ha ha.  Totally worth the nail polish remover and hassle.  

Nice

It has been a roller coaster week, and I've definitely had more than my share of impatient, distressed mom moments.  At least twice Chicken has asked me not to be mad at him and that he doesn't like it when I'm mean--which of course made me feel like the worst person.  If I'm disappointing my sweet and sensitive Chicken, someone whom I would rarely get upset with, then that's saying something.   Most of the stuff that has had me flying off the handle has been your run-of-the-mill  two-year-old mischievousness, curiosity, and defiance kinds of things,  but it's taken me off-guard coming from him.

(I stayed surprisingly cool during the poop smearing incident in Edee's room yesterday....just to give you an idea about some of things I'm referring to.)

Both kids have known I've been having a hard time.  Daddy helped Edee pick some flowers to give to me one night and told me that I was a good Mommy.  The next day when we were outside, Edee picked me flowers again, and when I  thanked her, she said, "Daddy told me I should do that more often."  It made me smile.  Edee isn't often that empathetic on her own, but she sure does try once she gets it.

But Chicken understands.  He's very thoughtful and sympathetic for a two-year-old.  Yesterday he came up to me and asked for a hug, held my cheeks, gave me a few kisses and told me, "You are a nice person Mommy,"  completely unprompted and out of the blue.  Of course I told him he was a nice person himself, and that I was very proud of him.   Which is so true.

Then last night he grabbed my face and said:

"Mommy, i yuff (love) you a yot of the times, every day, yo you much Mommy.  Some days I do.  And Mommy....yum times....yum times dere are ayigadors (aligators) and yum times dey are mean.  But.....sum times I yuff you, Mom. Weally much"

Being the mom is the best.
(And it's the worst!!!  Think 'smeared poop', and I think enough is said.)

Chicken Fight

Edee and Chicken can be pretty good buddies.  They also can fight like nobody's business.

Yesterday morning, as I was getting ready in the bathroom and they were supposed to be getting dressed in their rooms, I hear this going on (it had actually been going on for awhile before this, I finally realized it was going to be going for awhile and that I should record it).  Eva was only in her underwear and Chicken is just his diaper.

Edee:  Get out of my room, Chicken!
Chicken: No, get out of your room Ewa!
Edee:  No it's MY room, get out!!!
Chicken:  No, you get out and talk to Mommy!!
Edee:  I will noooooot!!!
Chicken:  It not your choice!!
Edee: Yes it is.
Chicken: No it's not.
Edee: It is!
Chicken: No it's not!
Edee:  IT IS!
Chicken:  NO IT's not!!
Edee: Yes.
Chicken: No.
Edee: Yes!
Chicken: No!
Edee: YES!
Chicken: NO!
Edee: Yes! Get out of my room.  I will never play with you.
Chicken: Don't ever play with me!
Edee: When you ask for something I will not give it to you.  And if you want to play I will not listen to you. Okay? Chicken no!!!!

At this point (I had started recording this with my phone) I had to intervene because they started hitting.  We're going through almost the same thing this morning.

But Sometimes

Chicken and Edee are both pretty good conversationalists.  You know, for being two and four.  They converse fairly easily with others,  and especially with each other.

Chicken, however, seems to realize that Edee might be one step ahead of him in this department while talking with adults, and gets a little jealous of the attention she gets.  He tends to interrupt when he sees this happening, wanting to be a part of the conversation.  It actually has been happening quite a bit lately.  Here's just one example.

Friend:  Are you in school, Edee?
Edee:  No, I not in school yet, I'm dust four, but I went to a little preschool, but it's over now.
Me:  Yeah it was called Joy School, we did--
Chicken: (interruping):  BUT, but, but......but......yumtimes dere are dinosaurs.....an an an.....yumtimes we see cala-piters (caterpillars).....and....an.....hmm.
Me:  Yep, you  like caterpillars a lot, huh Chicken?  Anyways, so a bunch of us moms trade off teaching Joy Sch---
Chicken:  But but but.... yumtimes....yumtimes dere are.....um....yumtimes dere are....blah blah plah buh buh doo doos!!!  Ha ha ha!

At this point you can tell he has no idea what to say, so he just starts making funny noises and faces and wiggles his hands around like he's putting on a little show.  He seems to think that he's so irresistible that everyone else will think it's amazing.  It ends up working out for him. 

Thunder

Chicken loves saying prayers and, might I add, is pretty good at saying them.  Lately, in every prayer he asks that we'll be safe from the "funder" storms.   We had a thunder storm once close to a month ago and he hasn't forgot it and includes it even on the sunniest days!  He also asks that Daddy will be safe at work, even when Daddy is already home from work or won't be going to work that day.  The way he says safe, "yafe" with a hard F sound is pretty darn cute.

At dinner yesterday he asked that we would be hungry, and one time when Eva wasn't being very nice he asked that we wouldn't hit each other on the head.  I think he understands the prayer concept pretty well if you ask me.

Just Me

I have a few dozen nicknames for Chicken.  Depending on the day lately, he doesn't like it when I use any of them.  It's hard for me to catch myself in using them since for the entire past...well, lifetime of his, he's been just about every term of endearment you can imagine.

Usually, his response is very hurt and annoyed.  Example.

Me:  Hey Sweetie(or insert any of the many random things I call him), can you come here?
Chicken:  I not a 'weetie!  I dust Kay-tin!
Me:  Okay, just Chicken...sorry Chicken.

There are exceptions.  Like when we're snuggling together at bedtime he's okay being my snuggle buggle or snuggie buggie.  He likes being my snuggie buggie, and calls me"snuggie buggie Mommy"  (oh he's going to cringe if he reads this in a decade or so.  I LOVE it though.  Please don't grow up, Chicken).

He also has been calling me "Mommy inchworm" lately and requests being called either Baby inchworm or Buddy inchworm in response.

Edee is also particular at times about the whole nickname thing.  I once made the mistake of calling her "buddy".

Edee:  No! No, no, no.  I am "Honey", and Chicken is "Buddy".
Me:  Oh....yeah, I guess you are right.  Sorry Honey.

How could I!

Coming Up

I have been horrible keeping up with this blog.  Which is tragic, because Edee especially loves it when I read past posts to her.  She even asked earlier this week to: "hear a story about Edee and Chicken".  My memory is so bad that I need to write these things down, but lately it seems like it's SO bad that I can't remember well enough what they said just by the end of the day when I finally get a chance to jot it down.

I do remember this one, however from a couple weeks back.

Edee was coming down with a cold, and she must have heard me say it because one evening before bed when I asked her how she was feeling, she said, "I'm coming up with a cold!"

Perfect.

Wake up

Chicken usually comes into our bed some time in the wee morning hours.  I usually wake up to his jabbering and grabbing onto my ears.  This morning, as he was waking up:

Chicken:  I wan a teese 'tick (cheese stick)......
(to the tune of "Once There was a snowman) : One dere wa' a 'nowman, 'nowman, 'nowman...one dere wa a 'nowman, 'nowman, 'nowman.  An it wa' eno-mous, eno-mous, enomous; an it wa' eno-mous, e-nomous, enomous (enormous).....
Hi, mommy budder-fy (butterfly).  I baby budder-fy.  Where are my wings?

Never a dull moment with these kids--even waking up evokes a story to tell.

Ironing

Just to show how often I iron.

Edee:  OOOOO, can I help?  What are you doing?
Me:  I'm ironing.  You can watch.
Edee:  I-wonning?  Wow, I never seen you do dat before.
Me:  Yeah.  I know.
Edee:  I tink I might have saw you one time, a YOOOONG, yong time ago.
Me:  Yeah maybe.
Edee:  What's dat, a surfboard?
Me:  No, an ironing board.
Edee:  Oh.  I seen Uncle A.J.  do dat ironing, a yot of times.  HE does dat.
Me:  Yeah, he's pretty good about ironing.
Edee:  Yeah, Mommy.

MIddle Name

Daddy:  Chicken, do you know what your middle name is?  It's Jeffrey.
Chicken:  No!  It's "CHOO-CHOO"!

What can I say, the kid loves trains.

Kiss

Chicken and I are driving to pick up Edee from Joy School.  We're talking about various things.

Chicken:  Mommy, I hope to kiss you.
Me:  Aw, I love your kisses.
Chicken:  I luff you, Mommy.  You are a good Mommy for me.

He's the best.

My Life

I'm changing Chicken's diaper.

Edee:  Yuck!  I hate seeing poopy diapers!  Why does Chicken have poopy diapers like that? It's dish-custing.
Me:  It's just a part of life, I'm afraid.
Chicken:  It's a part of MY life!  Not your life, it's a part of my life!!

The two year old is yelling this while point back and forth between Edee and I.  I had no idea he had such strong feelings about it.

Understood

Chicken's taking a bath and I'm watching a show in the bathroom on my kindle as I'm supervising.  Edee wanders in and climbs on my lap just as the show starts talking about something inappropriate.  It's generally a pretty mild show, but has the occasional innuendo.  I quickly scramble to hit the pause button and shut the cover.

Edee:  Hey! Why did you turn-ded dat off??
Me:  I didn't like what they were saying.
Edee:  Dat's okay, I understood what dey were saying.
Me: You did?  Oh.  Uh....what were they saying?
Edee:  I understood dat dey weren't speaking Engwish.
Me:  Oh....right.

Phew!!!

Insulated

Me:  Edee, no running.  You're wearing sandals and not your running shoes, I don't want you to trip and fall.
Edee:  Mommy, are dere running sandals we could buy?
Me:  No....sandals are not for running.
Edee:  I tink dere are running sandals for running.
Me:  Well.  Maybe.  But your sandals are not for running.
Edee:  I tink dey would be if dey were insowaded.
Me:  Insulated?
Edee:  Yeah.  Are dere a such ting as snow sandals?
Me:  No....you're feet would get cold.
Edee:  I tink dey would be insowated against da snow.  And sand sandals would be insowated against da sand.

Someone has learned a fun new word!

Big Boy

Chicken:  Mommy, I'n a big boy, dust yike you!!!
Me:  Just like me!?
Chicken:  Yeah!
Me:  Ha ha...almost, once you're out of diapers you'll officially be a big boy....just like Daddy! Are you ready to use the potty?
Chicken:  No.  I'm not weady, yet.

Truth is that I'm not ready yet either.   Potty training...ugh.

Totally Ginormous

Another couple word I must say a lot of.

Edee:  Yeah, Mommy, and I toad-a-wee did it myself.
Me:  Cool, good job.
Edee:  And I made annuder one, and it was toad-a-wee GINORMOUS!

By-the-way, I didn't think ginormous was a real word until typing this up and seeing that the spell check red-underline didn't show up.  Apparently it was put in the Webster Dictionary back in 2007.  Wow!

My Problem

Edee:  Mommy!!!  Chicken dust hit me!!
Chicken:  It not your pob-wem (problem) Ewa!!  It not your pob-wem!
Edee:  But you hit me!!
Chicken:  It not your pob-wem!  It MY pob-wem, Ewa.
Edee:  But you hit ME!!

At least he takes some ownership here and can admit that he has a problem, right?

Cute Mom

Chicken comes up to me to give me a hug and kiss my ears.  It's a little weird, but sweet--he likes to hold onto my ears when he's snuggling or falling asleep, and recently he likes to give each one a kiss.

Me:  You are so sweet Chicken
Chicken:  An you a good Mommy.
Me:  Aww....thank you.  That's so nice.  I love you.
Chicken: I wud you too.  You a coot mommy, Mommy.

He's a heart melter, this one.

Grampa

We are learning about sea turtles.

Me:  ....and sea turtles can live to be up to 100 years old!
Edee:  Dat's almost as old as Gampa!!!

Silly

Edee:  Chicken is so si-yee (silly)
Me:  He IS so silly.
Edee:  Yeah, he is so si-yee and han-some
Me:  He is definitely handsome too.

Best Mommy

Chicken:  Mommy? You are my best mommy.

I never get tired of these sweet things he says to me.  You are my best little boy, Chicken.

Annoyed

Me:  Edee go play with you dinosaurs.

Edee:  I don wan to.

Me:  I just got them out for you because you asked to play with them.  Go play.

Edee:  No.  I dust got annoyed out. 

I've learned this week that I must vocalize when I'm annoyed more than I thought.  Yesterday when I got frustrated with something Edee did---

Me:  Ugh, you guys.  Seriously.  I'm so......so....

Edee:  annoyed?

Me:  Well.....yeah.  Where did you learn that?  Where did you hear that word?

Edee:  I don't know.  Mom you say it a yot when you are I yittle bit annoyed.

Chicken:  I'm annoyed.  I'm annoyed!

Ha ha.....oh wow.   Obviously I do say it a lot!

Song and Story

Daylight savings time has thrown us for a little loop, as I'm sure it does for most parents.

I was laying down with Chicken in his new "big boy bed" at bedtime, trying to sing to him so that he could settle down after not seeming tired.  He kept refusing all my choices of songs.

Me:  Okay then, what song do you want?
Chicken:  A Too-too tain yong ( A Choo-choo train song).
Me (wondering if I could even tolerate singing that horrid Thomas the Train theme song):  Hmmm...I don't know that one.  Maybe you can sing it.
Chicken (without much hesitation and to a little tune):  Too-too tain!  Yow-pow tain!  And a meeeaaan dagon! (Choo-choo train!  Snow-plow train!  And a mean dragon).
Me:  Wow!!!  I'm impressed Chicken!!  That was a great song.  You made that up all by yourself!
Chicken:  Yeah.

He sings it again.  I know where this is coming from....I made up a bedtime story about these things a few weeks ago.   Edee comes in at this point to see what all the ruckus was about.  She asks for a story, remembering the stories I'd tell about dragons and trains.  Before I can open my mouth, Chicken jumps right in.

Chicken:  Part-a a time  (Once upon a time). An an an an....Da geen too-too tain an yow pow tain (There was a green choo-choo train and a snow plow train).  An an an yots a yittle geen Bobs (And lots of little green Bobs....Bob is the name of the Dragon in our stories, btw).  An an dey were dancing a dance cass, den dancing on da geen tain (And they were dancing at dance class, then dancing on the green train).  An da dance ih: Wiggle! Wiggle!  Clap! Kick!! (And the dance is: Wiggle! Wiggle! Clap! Kick!....he was demoing this the best he could lying in bed.  The Wiggle! was the best part).

Holy smokes, this kid is hilarious.  Not only is he in a big boy bed, but he's big enough to be making up songs and silly stories complete with dance moves.  I seriously just want to keep him forever in my pocket.  It's so bitter-sweet that he's growing up.

Of course when I shooed Edee into her room so I could finally help Chicken sleep, she was waiting for me in her room about ready to burst in anticipation.  She proceeded to tell me a story about a pink train with a pink whistle, wheels, and pedals; AND a purple train with sparkles and a red train with sparkles; and a green train with no sparkles until it asked the paint man for sparkles.  I sort of couldn't follow after this point but there was something about a strange animal running by the trains really fast.

Me:  What kind of animal was it?
Edee:  I don't kn--Dey didn't know!!

She is so adorable too.  I love my kids, they are amazing.  I'm so lucky to be their mom!!

Puddles

It was a warm day today...and by warm, I mean in the 40's.  We finally had puddles in our driveway that weren't iced over!  The kids were in heaven jumping and splashing in them.  When I finally convinced them to get in the car so we could leave, Chicken happily bounced up to me.

Me:  Was that fun?
Chicken:  I dumped in a MUDDLE!!!!
Me(could not contain the laughter):  A muddle?  Ha ha ha!  A mud puddle!
Chicken:  Yep!  A mud puddle! Ha ha!!

This kid.

Pistachios

Chicken has recently discovered pistachios.  I've delayed this discovery for him since he has a peanut and almond allergy and I have been fearful of all things nuts--but blood and skin tests have never shown a reaction to other nuts, so I've been slowly introducing them.  He LOVES pistachios. I don't blame him, I like them a lot myself.  The best part is how he says it:  sometimes it's "puh-stashes", sometimes "buh-stashes", and yesterday it was "mustaches"!!  It literally made me laugh out loud.

Today though, I wasn't laughing when he sneaked up to the counter while I was reading to Edee in the other room and sucked the salt off of half of the container I had and put them all back in afterwards.  That was not fun scooping out slobbery nuts out of my pistachio stash....them ain't cheap, Chicken!!

Every Guys

Chicken was setting the table for dinner.

Chicken:  Yook!  I pud a pate (plate) dere for every guys.
Daddy:  You got one for every one.
Chicken:  Yeah.  Every guys, it time fah dinnah! (time for dinner).

Prayer

Chicken likes saying prayers.

So much, in fact, that as soon as someone else finishes saying a prayer he immediately yells out "MY TURN!" after the "Amen".   And then usually he gets a turn to say a prayer.

This has become so habitual that this even occurred after HE himself said the prayer.

Chicken:  And dank you for a woot (food) and for a woot and da dinnah (dinner)....Amen.   MY TURN!!  Oh ha ha....I did!!

It's great that he can laugh at himself. Of course we all laughed too.  Such a little character!

Nothing

Last Night

Daddy:  Edee, what did you do today?
Edee:  Oh...I wen to a caft 'tore (craft store) and to dance cass (class).
Daddy:  What about you Chicken?  What did you do today?
Chicken:  Nuffeen.
Daddy: Nothing?
Me:  Chicken, didn't we go to the libary today?
Chicken:  No.
Me: ......Yes we did.  Who did we see there?  Did you see Blake and Graham and Dane Dane?
Chicken:  No.

     Okaaaay.....

This Morning

Me:  Chicken it's time to get dressed.

no response.

Daddy:  What do you want to wear today Chicken?

Chicken:  Nuffeen.

Daddy:  Not wearing anything isn't an option.....

I thought this was a teenager response, not a two-year-old response.   Then while thinking about it, I remembered that this was not a new response for him....I blogged about it here back in July.  He's had this response since he was a one-year old.

Spicy

Chicken, Edee and I are sitting on the couch relaxing and watching Tinkerbell after a busy day away from home.  Chicken starts backing away slowly into the kitchen; I assume something is too scary for him.

Not soon after, he comes running over to me, his tongue hanging out of his mouth.

Chicken:  My ton ih 'picy.

Me:  Your tongue.....is spicy.

Chicken:  Yeah.  It 'picy.

Me:  Why is it spicy....did you eat something?  Wait, what smells like cinnamon??  Wha...wait, did you just eat some cinnamon out of the shaker?

He slowly nods in the affirmative.

This is not the first time he's consumed something directly out of the shaker.  I think he was hoping for the garlic salt and got quite the shock instead.

Sick

Oh joy of joys.  We have been sick so much this winter.  Fortunately nothing too major...mostly lots of colds and a few minor stomach bugs.  And pink eye--that wasn't fun.

We just got over one of those stomach bugs this past weekend.  Edee threw up all one morning while Daddy stayed in bed all day with nausea and stomach pain.  They were mostly better by the next day.  Of course, by then it was my turn.

I'm sitting down bending over with my head in my hands.

Me:  Ugh, I don't feel so good.
Edee:  It's okay Mommy, we will take care of you.
Me:  Thanks, Edee, that's sweet of you to say.
Edee:  Oh, oh, oh.  I need to tell you some-ping.  If you feel like you are gonna have a yucky burp, dust cose  (close) you mouth yike dis... and den you won't frow up, okay?
Me:  Thanks Edee....I'll remember that.
Edee (rubbing my shoulder): Poor Mommy. Feel better, Mommy.

She's been so well trained.

Kitty

Chicken has been in this phase lately where he really likes to act and meow like a kitty cat.  No other animal.  Just a cat.  I usually play along with it.... it's cute for a two year old.

I don't remember the whole conversation, but one day I called Chicken a sweetie pie and I got quite the unexpected, adamant response:

Chicken: "I not a 'weetie pie!  I dust Caytin!!"
Me:  Oh my.  Okay, just my Chicken.
Chicken: And kitty cat Caytin.

Of course, can't forget that.

Owl

At the beginning of the year I went across country for a few days. Alone.  It was the longest I had ever been away from the kids.  On the last day that I was gone, Daddy and Grandma took the kids to the science museum.

I asked Chicken about it when I got home late that night.

Me:  What did you do at the museum today?
Chicken: I yaw....I yaw a yittle owl.

He says it with bright, reminiscing eyes and a little shy smile, while pinching his fingers by his face to signify "little".

Me:  Oh wow!  A little owl!  That's so neat!  Was that your favorite part?
Chicken:  Yeah.  I yaw a yittle owl.

Months later when I ask Chicken how his day was or his favorite thing about the day was, there's a 50/50 chance that he'll still say, "I yaw a yittle owl" with the same eyes and smile.  Even when no owl was involved.

Driveway

It's been a rough winter, for multiple reasons.  I won't mention the 100 inches of snow, or the ice dams causing leaks all over our house, our our water pipes freezing and bursting.

But I will mention that our driveway goes up a decently long hill.  And it gets icy.  And slippery. And my car's tires were bald enough that on more than one occasion I couldn't drive up it.

Usually we'd eventually get up after roughing up the icy patches or gathering more momentum or something.

But one night, I just plain could not climb it.  After four or five attempts and lots of frustrated muttering and despairing, I gave up and took the hungry kids out to Panera Bread for dinner (one who had been crying because he wanted to go home, while the other was crying because she didn't want to go home).

As we go up to the register and I start to order, I can tell that Edee really wants to say something.  I assume because we were just talking about what she was going to eat that she wanted to tell her order.

Me:  Go ahead and tell her your order.
Edee: Um, oh oh!  Mommy couldn't get up our dive-way and dat's why we got to come out for dinner!!!
Me:  Um, oh, Edee....just tell her you want the Mac n' cheese....thanks.

I mean, I can see why it was pretty exciting.  I was taking her to restaurant which I rarely do, and she really had not wanted to go home.  This driveway drama was a good thing for Miss Drama Queen.  Not so much for Chicken, poor boy just wanted to sleep.  He tolerated dinner fine though.

By the time we got done eating, Daddy had come home from a late night of work.  The kids had fallen asleep and were completely out by the time I pulled back to the dreaded driveway.  Daddy tried driving us up unsuccessfully and ended up just towing us up with the truck.  The kids didn't even flinch when we put them into bed, and that was that.

Chicken woke up some time in the middle of the night screaming.  His nose was a little stuffy and he was yelling for a drink.  As I took him downstairs into the kitchen and started to pour some water, all the crying abruptly stopped with realization, and he asked with a surprisingly clear voice--

Chicken:  You get up da dive-way, Mommy?
Me:  Yes honey, Daddy got us up the driveway.
Chicken (throwing his little arms around my neck and squeezing tighter than I can remember):  Oh I am yo, yo, yo, yo, yo  HAPPY!!  Dank you Mommy.  I yo happy!

Translation Key:
yo=so

It was probably one of the cutest things I've had to get up in the middle of the night for in recent history.  That little boy was more happy to get up that driveway and be home than I was...even though it was quite the delayed response.

Occupied

Sleep really is a precious commodity here.  It's so sad, I love feeling rested.  I don't understand why kids so flatly refuse it.

My kids wake up before the sun is up more often than not.  And that's saying something in the smack dead of winter when the days are short.   I recently read the new sleep guidelines for toddlers and preschoolers.  My kids get an hour or two less than the minimum on a near-daily basis.   Of course, that means we as the adults are also often getting less than our minimum.  Alzheimer's, here we come.

As I finally gave in to the tramplings and proddings and whinings this morning and grumpily stumbled downstairs pre-6:00 AM with Chicken in tow, Edee starting quizzing me about the day.

Edee:  What kind of day is it?
Me:  It's still nighttime
Edee:  What are we going to do?
Me:  Clean.
Edee:  EEeeaaah!  But what are we going to do??
Me:  You can go back to bed or help me clean.
Edee:  But how are we going to be occupied?
Me:   ......what?
Edee:  How are we going to be occupied??
Me:  You need to worry about that, I'm not going to entertain you right now.
Edee:  Movies make us occupied.
Me:  I am not letting you watch a movie when the sun is still asleep.  Play with your toys.
Edee:  Toys don't keep me occupied.  Movies make us occupied!!

Yeah....I know.   Imagine how hard it is then for me to refuse them....

Twinkles

Chicken marches by me up the stairs like quite the footie-pajama-ed man on a mission.

Me:  What are you up to, Chicken?

He holds up a cardboard paper towel tube.

Chicken:  I'm yooking for tinkles!  Yee? (See?)

He points it up to the ceiling while holding it up to his eye.

Me:  Looking for twinkle stars?  I'll come with you.

We walk upstairs into my room.  Daddy had just finished gutting and remodeling the entire room, and we had moved the bed in yesterday.  I pick up Chicken and we lay on the bed looking for stars.  He looks through the tube at the ceiling fan.

Chicken:  I yee one!!  It's a BIG one!
Me:  Oooo it is a big one!
Chicken:  My Daddy a made dat one.  He made dat big tinkle.
Me:  Yeah Daddy put up that big star for us, huh?
Chicken, proudly:  Yeah, my Daddy did.

He's SO precious.

Little Whiles

Me:  Edee, come here!!  I don't want to ask you again!!
Edee:  Oh, oh oh, wait.  I just need a few yittle whiles more.  Dust a few more.

Lady Bug

We have a slight lady bug infestation problem.

 This past summer there was a day or two where there were literally swarms covering the outsides of houses.  Now, seven months later, we still see one pop up in the house every now and again.   I'm really not bothered by it--we're talking about someone has dealt with spider, ant, roach, and mice problems over the past six years of marriage.  I'll take the occasional lady bug.

Plus, the kids (who often pester me about getting pets) adopt the little lady bugs as their own.  It will have to satisfy their pet desire for now.

A few days ago Daddy and I (and Edee) were still lying in bed one morning while Chicken was puttering in and out of our room.  We hear from the hall:

Chicken:  A lady bug!  Oh hi, little lady bug.  Aw, it's westing.  It's 'leepin'.  Little lady bug is 'leeping.

We all know what that means when a lady bug is "resting" or "sleeping".  We giggle about it in bed.

Before we know it, Chicken and said lady bug were also snuggling up in the bed with us.  I forgot about it until a few minutes later it started crawling up Daddy's arm.  I guess it really was sleeping.  I think we might be taking this lady-bugs-as-pets thing a little too far if they are in bed with us.

Then yesterday, I see Chicken rocking and singing:

Chicken:  Rock-a-my-lady-bug!  Rock-a-my-lady-bug! Rock-a-my-lady-bug!

This time it really was a dead one.   Oh dear.

Shower

When you're a mom, seemingly simple things get complicated.  Like, taking a shower, for instance. I feel like I could count the number of peaceful showers I've had in the past four years on my fingers and toes.

I always have the kids in the bathroom with me while I shower if Daddy's not home--sometimes they are in there even when he's home, otherwise I run the risk of listening to them banging on the door crying for me or asking for something.    Usually I bring in toys or something for them to occupy themselves with.  That works out okay most of the time.  There have been times when I've had to jump out all sudsy to assist someone crying, and times that they have escaped unknown to me until I feel the draft coming in from the door.  There have been other times that they've gotten into my makeup.  Grrrr.

Then there's times like today.

I'm rinsing my hair when all of the sudden the shower curtain opens and a little naked body hurdles in.

Me: Whoa, hey.  What are you doing, Edee?
Edee:  Um, well I dust was smelling myself, and when I was smelling I weah-yized (realized) dat I was stinky.  So, I come-ed into the shower wit you.
Me:  Alright...

A minute later, the corner of the curtain opens a bit again.

Chicken:  You okay, Mommy?
Me:  I'm okay.
Chicken:  OKAY MOMMY?
Me:  I'm okay Chicken.  Thank you.
Chicke:  EWA!!  YOU OKAY?
Edee:  Yeah!!
Chicken:  YOU OKAY, EWA???
Edee:  Yes Chicken!!!!

The curtain falls back, just to pop open again.  This time Chicken has a flashlight he's shining in.

Crap, I forgot he had that.

Chicken:  YOU OKAY?
Me:  Yes, Chicken. We are okay.  Thank you.

Etc.

This particular shower ended prematurely when the shower rod and curtain came crashing down.   It also took about half an hour afterwards to get Edee dressed. All the while Chicken is shining the flashlight on her asking where her boy parts are and various other anatomy questions.

 Showering.  Such a seemingly simple thing.....

Orbit

Daddy and I have recently made a new arrangement for my personal sanity.  It's that when he gets home from work and while I'm making dinner, he has "science time" with the kids.  That way they are occupied while I'm cooking, instead of the usual hanging on my legs crying to be held and begging for fruit snacks.

So far the new arrangement has worked out quite well.

Last week, Daddy was asking the kids questions about what they had learned  a few days prior.

Daddy: Edee, what orbits around the sun?
Edee:  Da Earff!!
Daddy:  Good, the earth!  Chicken, do you remember what orbits the earth?
Chicken:  A COIN!!!
Mommy:  I'm guessing you used a coin in your moon visual with the globe?
Daddy:  Yep.

Of course we all thought it was hilarious.  Chicken especially.

Then today (a few days later) I hear the kids talking to each other while eating breakfast. I'm at the sink cleaning up dishes, just listening.

Chicken:  Yook!  Da ball is 'pinning, da earff!! Bit-ting! (Look, the ball is spinning around the earth!  It's orbiting!)
Edee:  No Chicken, da only fings dat orbits da earf is da 'pace station and da moon. (the only things that orbit the earth are the space station and the moon).

Well, looks like science time is paying off.   Another benefit is that the kids have actually been eating their dinner now that I'm not having to pump them full of snacks to leave me alone so I have free hands to cook.  Kudos to Daddy for keeping their attention--and to me, of course, for having the brilliant idea :)

Juice

Chicken loves "owan duce" (aka orange juice).   The thing is that all juice is "orange" juice.  This took me awhile to figure out.  In order to differentiate which kind of juice he'd like there is "yeyow (yellow) owan duce" and "black owan duce".

No amount of convincing can persuade him otherwise.

Independence

Edee and I have had several conversations lately that have ended like this one.

Edee:  Mommy will you take my socks off?
Me:  Your feet are going to be cold if I do.
Edee--I know Mom, but I don care.  I wanna do what I wanna do.

And Chicken and I have had just as many which have ended like this:

Chicken:  Leave my lone!!!!!

Such independent little people they think they are.

Trampoline

Driving home from Joy School, we were spelling out names of some of Edee's friends.  It just so happened that all of the names we had spelled so far all had "L's" in them.

Me:  Did you know your full name has an "L" in it too, Edee?  E-V-A-N-G-E-L-I-N-E.   Evangeline.
Edee:  Ban-jo-ween?  Why my name is Ban-jo-ween?
Me:  Because Mommy and Daddy named you Evangeline and we just call you Edee for short.  Remember?
Edee:  Oh. Yeah.

A minute later.

Edee: I wish we had a tam-po-ween (trampoline).
Me:  What....why?  Who has a trampoline? None of your friends do.
Edee:  My new friends in Idaho did.
Me (wondering where this shift in conversation suddenly came from):  Did you see one today?
Edee:  no, I just want a tampoween.  To jump on all da time.
Me:  I don't think we are going to get one.  Sorry.
Edee:  We can get one for Kissmas!
Me:  Christmas is over.
Edee:  Yeah, I aweady know dat.  We can get one for next Kissmas.
Me:  Good luck convincing Daddy of that one.

It took me a moment or two more to realize that 'Evangeline' and 'trampoline' sound just enough alike to have started this whole thought process.  If I would have know that giving her this name would have caused trampoline envy, I might have rethought that.

Jelly Beans

Chicken has been in this phase lately where he runs away and hides when it's time to change his diaper....not fun.  So this morning after really not wanting to chase him again, I resorted to the classic, reliable parenting technique:  bribery.  With jelly beans. My kids are pretty obsessed with jelly beans (what kid isn't?) and Daddy had stocked up on them while I was out of town.

Me:  Chicken, time to change your diaper.
Chicken:  Okay!  (and then he runs away)
Me:  Chicken, if you go lay down on the floor and let me change your diaper I'll give you jelly beans.
Chicken:  Okay!  (this time he complies)

I give him one jelly bean.

Chicken:  Mmmm, gum??
Me:  Yep I think that was the bubble gum flavor.  You'll get another one when we are done.
Chicken:  I wanna geen (green) one!
Me:  Okay, when we are finished.
Edee:  I want one!
Me:  Clean up the dishes and you can have one.

She does.  We finish the diaper change. They surround me jumping up and down for the jelly beans as I get ready to deal out the goods.

Me:  What color did you want again?
Chicken:  ALL A 'DEM!  ALL A DEM!!!!!
Edee:  Yeah!  All of dem!

Now that I'm thinking about it,  I recall it was green that Chicken wanted.  They each ran off with two extra jelly beans than originally bargained for.....somehow they always have the upper hand, especially when I start patting myself on the back for my parenting skills....

Big Sister

It's 2015.  Chicken and Edee are two and four years old.

They are cutely snuggling up together on the couch.  Chicken reaches up and strokes Edee's cheek, looking at her lovingly.

Chicken:  You my big yit-yahr (sister)?
Then not waiting for an answer and nodding his head--
Chicken:  Yeah. My big yit-yahr.
Edee:  Yeah I is you big yister.  I take care of you.
Me:  You do a good job taking care of him.
Edee:  Yeah and you take care of me, Mommy, and Daddy take care of you!!
Me:  Ha....something like that.

I love the little thought process to that.