Hawaii

Edee watched the movie Lilo and Stitch recently.

Edee:  Mom, can we go to Hawaii?
Me:  Not any time soon.
Edee:  AWWWW.  Why not?  I want to go dere!!
Me:  It's far away.  Go get the globe I'll show you.  See?  It's far.
Edee:   I weally want to go dere! I never been dere before!!! I want to surf!!
Me:  I know. I'm sorry...it's far away.  I'm sure you'll go there someday.  In the meantime we have plenty of super fun beaches close to us...
Edee:  But do all of da pee-pull surf in Hawaii?
Me:  No, but I'm sure lots of people surf in Hawaii.
Edee:  AWWWW!!  No one surfs here! I want to go dere weally weally bad!!!  I've never been dere in all my life!!! I've never been surf-een!! (She's thrown herself on the floor at this point, sobbing dramatically)
Me:  Wow, Edee....calm down....I know how you feel, I really do, but goodness, you are only four years old!

We had a similar conversation not long after this about Australia : /

Tie

Chicken:  Yook Edeee, I'm wearin' my tie.
Edee:  Oh....do you want to dance with me?
Chicken:  No.  I can't.
Edee:  Yes you can, you wearin' a tie.  I'll go get my sparkly dess on.  Wait for me to get dessed.

A few minutes later Edee and Chicken come up the stairs holding hands, decked out for church  a royal ball.

Edee:  Mom, we are da prince and da princess.  (They do a few spins and turns)
Chicken:   Yee-ha!

Sometimes they are just too much!

Potty Training

I've charged Edee with helping Chicken potty train.  She's all in--she knows that if he goes on the potty and she helps that she also getting a treat.

Chicken is sitting on the potty.  Edee is turning the water on in the sink.

Me:  What are you doing?
Chicken:  Edee goin' get the toy full a wadder, and make me laugh, den I poop.
Edee:   Yoook Chicken!  Laugh so much dat you poop!

She proceeds to stick a foam toy on the wall.

Chicken:  Aaahahahahahahahahahaha ah ha ha ha (fake laugh....turns into a momentary real laugh).   Ah.  At-you-ee (actually), it did not work.
Edee:  How 'bout dis?  (She proceeds to bonk him on the head with the foam toy).
Chicken: Ah ah ha ha ha.....uh, not working.  I cannot poopsie.....
Edee:  Hmmm.....yet's see....yook I'm doing some-ting so funny.
Chicken:  Ah ha ha ha ha ha (still fake).
Edee:  Keep on puh-sing and puh-sing.
Chicken:  La la la....grrrr!  Grr!   ....I peed in da potty!  Mommy, I peed!
Me:  Good job.
Chicken:  I peed Edee!  We get a Dum Dum Yuckah!  Dank you Edee!
Edee:  You're welcome.

So far, so good.  Too bad their motivation tapers out at about 9 am after the first treat....

Honey

Lately I've been hearing Chicken call Edee "Honey" every now and again.  From what I can tell, it's part of a pretend game they play where he's the dad and she's the daughter.   Here's just a snippet of the kinds of things I hear and observe:

Edee goes darting up the stairs.  Chicken is banging a heat vent with a plastic hammer.

Chicken:  Where are you goin' honey?
Edee:  Up 'tairs!
Chicken:  To get your pants!?

He continues to bang away.
She comes back down a moment later...wearing pants this time.

Edee:  Daaaad.  You're in da basement, silly.
Chicken.  I an tight-ing it.  Syee?  You ha' pants now?
Edee:  Yeah.
Chicken:  I am in da attic
Edee:  No you in da basement.
Chicken:  Oh yeah.  Yook, it not tight-end.
Edee: I will go get some more tools, Chicken.
Chicken:  No, I da dad!
Edee:  Dad, I will go get more tools.....here are some talkie walkies!!!
Chicken:  Kid!  Kid!! Come here, honey!
Edee:  What dad?
Chicken:  I'm da dad, so I like mice.
Edee:  Are you a cat?
Chicken:  No a dad.  WE like mice.
Edee:  Why do we eat mice?
Chicken:  Ugh.  Because kid!  Because honey, dey are good for us.

What an interesting interpretation of fatherhood.

Phone

Chicken:  Mom, is dis a weal phone?
Me:  It was...it was Daddy's old phone, but it doesn't work anymore.  It's just a pretend phone now.
Chicken:  Yeah it's my pretend phone now.
Me:  You need to share it with Edee too. No more fighting over it.
Chicken:  But I need da pretend phone.
Me:  How come?
Chicken:  Because I yike to play pretend games on it.

Needless to say, the pretend phone (with it's pretend games) is fought over frequently here.  I don't mind as much since at least it's not MY phone!  They can be on 'their phone' the entire day for all I care!!

Baby Sauce

It's been an interesting morning so far, and it hasn't even reached 7 am yet.  Sometime before 5:30 Chicken woke up crying about how he really wanted the bread with butter.  I tried consoling him that it was just a dream, but by then his 'nose hurt'.....so now we are laying downstairs on the couch.  I had hoped he'd fall back to sleep, but so far he's inquiring about some issues that have been bothering him.

Chicken:  Do all peah-puhl like baby sauce?
Me:  Do all people like baby sauce...?
Chicken:  Yeah.  Do dey?
Me:  No, not all people like baby sauce.
Chicken:  (starting to cry)  Why?  Why do dey not like dems?
Me:  Do you like them?
Chicken: Yumtimes I do and yumtimes I do not....Yumtimes it gives me a tummy ache and I have to go to da dockers.
Me:  Oh, okay.

I'm pretty sure 'baby sauce' is the name Edee gave those apple sauce/fruit purees that come in a pouch.  She does not like them and Chicken does.  Obviously Chicken is perplexed by this....

Fun

Edee:  Mom!  Where else are we going today?
Me:  Nowhere else.
Edee:  What!!??  Why aren't we going anywhere else!!?
Me:  Edee. Good grief, we've barely been home today.  We spent all morning with friends on a hike.  I bought you guys lunch.  You went to speech and played on the playground for a long time.  Plus you played outside with the new trikes for an hour.  Where else would you want to go today?
Edee:  I don't know, somewhere else!
Me:  Honey, we did lots of fun things today and it's getting close to dinner. Please be grateful!
Edee:  I am gateful!  ....I dust haven't had enough fun yet.....

Sheesh.  When someone discovers a source of endless fun, please pass the knowledge along to me.  I have a four year old who thinks she's in desperate need.

Cheese

Edee:  I'm hungry!
Me:  What would you like to eat?  Yogurt or cheese and crackers?
Edee:  Cheese and cackers.  Hot.  And....heavy on da teese.
Me:  Heavy on the cheese, huh? (she's never used this expression before)
Edee: .....yeah.
Me:  Hmm. Alright.

I prepare her Triscuits with more cheese than usual and heat it up in the microwave to melt the cheese.  This is a common lunch for my kids when I can't think of anything else to feed them.

Me:  Here you go.
Edee:  Hey...I said heavy on da teese!
Me:   Yes.  Look at those crackers.  They are very heavy with cheese.
Edee: .....Mom....what does 'heavy on the teese' mean?
Me:  It means there's a lot of cheese.  Why did you ask for it if you didn't know what it meant?
Edee:  I heard it on Strawberry Shortcake.
Me:  Mmmm.  I see.

F-bomb

Edee:  Mom, what is an F-bomb?
Me: What.
Edee:  What is a F-bomb?
Me: Where did you hear that?
Edee:  You said it mom!
Me:  ME!?
Edee:  Yeah, you were talking on da phone and said someone was dropping an F-bomb and we had to drive away.
Me:  What....
Edee:  In da car at Target!
Me:  Oh....oh yeah....

The memory flooded back:  We were in the car, at the light outside the Target Parking lot, one car behind me, another to the side of me.  Apparently one cut off the other in the parking lot and there was a lot of honking and yelling surrounding us.  I had answered a phone call at the time and told my friend I needed to call her back since a fight was brawling, and people were getting out of their car and dropping the F-bomb at each other and we were in the middle.   This happened at least one, if not two months ago.

Me:  Oh, okay I remember.  The 'F-bomb' is a bad word people say.
Edee:  Why is it bad?
Me:  It's not a nice word... and causes people to feel sad or angry.
Edee:  So why do people drop it?
Me: Er, well....they say it...to 'drop it' is an expression...because bombs are dropped before they explode.....but um..... they just shouldn't say it because it's not a nice word.

Not a thing goes by these kids, I'll tell you! It's a wonder that it's been swirling around her mind for this long, wondering about it.  I'm glad she remembered the expression "F-bomb" opposed to the full expletive being shouted around us!  Not ready for that!