Issues

While driving home from church together as a family:

Edee:  "I want some issues!!"
Me:  "Issues?  What are you trying to say? Try again."
Edee:  "I want some issues, please.  Issues."
Me:  "I think you already have some.  They are called 'Mommy' and 'Daddy'."
Edee:  "I want some of your issues!"
Me:  "No.  No you don't...."
Edee: "Yes I do!"

At least 20 years from now when she's talking to a psychologist about all the issues she has from her parents I can remind her that she asked for it....

Chimney

Edee asks, "Mommy, is Santa going to bring us a chimney?"

Good question.  I'm not ready for all these sticky Santa inquiries.  There have already been a few which I've had to stop and think carefully before giving a response.

Friends for Dinner

Edee loves watching the 'Land Before Time' shows.  There's a song in one of them in which a little dinosaur sings a song about having "friends for dinner."

Edee had been sent to her room because she was throwing a tantrum about not getting some candy she wanted.  The crying calmed down and I soon hear her singing a familiar tune that I couldn't put my finger on. Soon she's singing at the top of her lungs.  Then she's stomping out of her room with a big smile on her face (while continuing to sing at the top of her lungs), "CANDY FOR DINNER!  I WANNA HAVE CANDY FOR DINNER!"

She was definitely feeling clever; I thought it was pretty clever myself and had to laugh!

Baseball

Edee:   "Mommy, are these baseball pants?"
Me:  "They kind of look like baseball pants, huh?" (Not really, but whatever)
Edee:  "Yeah!  I wanna play baseball in these pants, like daddy!"
Me:  "Oh that would be great to play baseball like daddy!"
Edee (as she starts running around the room):  "Yeah!!!  I'm a base-girl!  Look at me, I'm a base-girl!  You're a base-girl too, Mommy!  Chicken you're a base-boy!"

I tried to correct her, but it wasn't successful.  She's a base-girl.

Santa

Someone is so excited for Christmas.  It's less than a week away, but really, it might as well be an eternity.

Edee:  Is it Christmas Day?
Me:  No it's still a ways away...BUT TOMORROW we are going to go see SANTA!!
Edee:  Hmm.  I don yike Santa very much.
Me:  Whaaaaaaaaaaaat? (This is shocking coming from a little girl who doesn't talk about much else).
Edee: Yeah I don yike Santa's helpers very much.  Just a yittle bit.

As a side note--Edee knows that the Santa's at the mall are his "helpers".  Her first time visiting Santa as a one-year-old was somewhat traumatic.  She did better last year, but still had some nerves.  I'm curious how it's going to go this year!!

Bug Eyes

While I'm putting on mascara one morning:

Edee:  I want some!

Me:  You don't need any of this for your eyelashes, babe.

Edee:  I wan my eyes to look yike yours, yike bugs!

Me:  My eyes look like bugs?

Edee:  Yeah!!  

Me:  Aw.  My eyes look like bugs.  You don't want yours to look like bugs either.

Edee: No, yike bown.  Bown! (brown)!

Me:  Oh brown? Not bugs?

Edee: Yeah.  I wan my eyes bown like yours!

Might be time to get new mascara anyways...just in case. 

Cheek bone

Edee: "Mom, my little cheek bone doesn't hurt anymore."
Me:  "When did you hurt your cheek bone?"
I look over to see her pants are down and she's rubbing one side of her little bum.  She had fallen down on her hip yesterday.   I laughed out loud when I connected the dots!

Cow says "Moo."

While driving in the car:

Daddy:  What does a cow say?
Edee:  Moo.
Mommy:  What does a duck say?
Edee:  Quack Quack.
  (we go through various animals.  Racking our brains for something else....)
Daddy:  What does Edee say?
Edee:  Mommy, mommy!
Mommy:  What does Daddy say?
Edee (laughing):  Edee!!
Daddy:  What does Mommy say?
Edee (laughing):  Edee!!!

It might not seem that funny...but it was.  I think it was because we all knew what Edee was thinking....the thing her parents seem to say the most often is her name, often in an angry/where-are-you/frustrated/disappointed/annoyed/did-you-really-just-do-what-I-think-you-just-did tone.

Singer

Chicken loves music.

Edee has never been into music the way Chicken is, so it's been really fun to watch him enjoy it so much.  He dances whenever possible and is good at moving right along to beat changes.  At church when the congregation is singing hymns he is watching the chorister carefully and waves his arm right along with her.

I had been singing the "Where is Thumpkin" song a lot recently with Edee.  At the end we sing "Run and hide.  Run and hide".   Chicken has picked up on that tune and surprised me by singing "Ra ra Ra" right along with the tune.  He's been singing it over and over this past week.  And it is adorable every time.   He's starting to catch on to other little tunes as well.  I love that little no-longer-baby of mine.

Deep Voice

Daddy and I both laugh about the fact that Chicken has a "deep" little baby voice.  My favorites are when he will come up and hand something to us and say, "Derugo" (There you go), and sometimes "Dangu" (Thank you), with almost a little growl sound to it.  I think it's just his manly voice   He is so cute.

Egg Nog

Me:  "Hey Edee, are you all done drinking your egg nog?"
Edee: "What??"
Me:  "The stuff that you are drinking, it's called 'egg nog'."
Edee:  "It ha EGGS in it?"
Me:  "No this one doesn't have eggs in it.  It does sound like a silly name, doesn't it?"
Edee: "Yeah."  She finishes off what's in her cup.  "Can I have some more cog egg?"

We both had a good laugh, though I think we were laughing for different reasons.   The name has stuck, we are now going to refer to egg nog as "cog egg" in our house.  Why not?  It's really no more bizarre than the original.

On a side note, my husband doesn't like cog egg.  I don't understand it.  To me, cog egg tastes like melted vanilla ice cream with yummy Christmas-reminiscent spices.  What's not to love about that?

Phew!

There are a few things Edee says lately that cause me to snicker each and every time she says them.

One being when she calls Chicken by his full name.  With proper emphasis on his first, middle, and last name....meaning she is usually upset with him when she says it.  I wonder where she gets that from?

Another is when she says, "What da heck??!!!"  I usually hear this from her when she sees something goofy or surprising, like her toy dinosaurs' heads wrapped in toilet paper.

My favorite is the most recent, "Phew!!"  An example was this morning when she was pulling herself up onto her seat at the dining room table, excitedly anticipating a breakfast of the new cereal I bought at the grocery store yesterday.  What she saw in front of her was the remains of her dinner last night (I guess we forgot to clear it off...gross, I know.  Sometimes we leave it out for awhile after dinner to give her another chance to finish her food).  Immediately she starting freaking out, similarly to how a teenage girl (or I) would upon seeing a gross bug on their plate.  I grabbed the plate and told her I was throwing that out and getting her cereal.  "Oh Phew!!!!!"  was her response.  It just makes me laugh coming from her little animated self!

Nativity

Explaining the Nativity story to Edee....

Me: "And that's why we have Christmas, and why it's so special.  It's remembering the day Jesus was born."
Edee: "Jesus was a cute little baby, like me??!"
Me: "Yes, he was a cute, sweet little baby, like you were and like Chicken was.  I looooove cute little babies!"
Edee: "Not me.  I love lions.  And kitty cats too!"

Sounds about right.

Not Tall Enough.

We have these stretchy animal toys that stick when you throw them at the wall.  Oddly enough they aren't sticky to the touch, but they will stay stuck for quite a while if thrown just right.   Chicken and Edee both LOVE them.  They have created some high-quality family entertainment.

Daddy occasionally will throw one up onto our ten-foot-high ceilings, then lifts the kids up to grab it.   Chicken especially will giggle like crazy doing this and thinks it's the greatest thing in the world.

Apparently before Daddy left for work this morning he threw the only remaining (un-lost) stretchy critter up onto the kitchen ceiling and left it there, too high for me to reach, even standing on a chair.  This tortured the children all day.

Edee:  "Let's get it down Mommy!"
Me:  "I can't, I'm not tall enough."
Edee, matter-of-factly:  "Yeah, you're short Mommy."
Me (feeling a little defensive about being called short by someone who's three-foot-nothin'): "Well, I'm not as tall as Daddy."
Edee:  "It's Otay.  You can eat your dinner all gone and will get big like Daddy."

I'm glad some of the things I say sink in!

Stinker

As we were walking out of the grocery store today, Edee wriggled away from me after I had told her repeatedly that she needed to hold my hand through the parking lot.

Me: "You are being a little stinker!"  

Edee, as she continued to walk away: "Yes I am."

This girl definitely knows her own mind.

Two going on Thirteen.

Edee is turning three-years-old next month.  You would never guess by some of the things she says lately, since she sounds more like a teenager.   Like when she says:

"Mom, I'm breaking out. Yook at my face."

and

"No, I don wan a wear dat!! It doesn't match."
And then she'll change her clothes two or three times.

And at the store:

"Oh yook!  Yoooous!  (Shoes--still working on our s,r, and l sounds...).  Yet's go try yum more on!!"
She proceeds to pull out heels four or five times her size, slips off her boots, and puts them on.

Then later while looking at clothes:

Oh dat's yoooo (sooooo) cute!!  Yet's buy it, Mommy!"

She's also always snatching my mascara or lipgloss, stealing my jewelry, and getting into my tampons.   I know the teenage years will sneak up on me fast, but I didn't expect to get such an eye-opening preview! 

Please

We've are constantly trying to reinforce manners with our kids.  Sometimes it feels like it falls on deaf ears.

Lately we've been teaching Chicken to say "Please."  We show him the sign for it as well as enunciating repeatedly.

 He thinks he's got it figured out.  When there's something he wants he'll stretch out his hand toward it, and with all the energy he can muster yells, "MMEEE!"

Other times he'll say, "Me Me Me!!!"

It's pretty cute.  He gets whatever he wants when he does that.  Though it might not be so cute or effective a few years from now....

My Space

This hotel stay is almost over (Daddy is with the movers right now unloading our stuff in the apartment, but we are still staying one more night here).  I'm ready to leave.

A few minutes ago I was getting Chicken dressed and Edee decided it would be a great time to jump all over me. I'm on edge already because the kids had woke up in the middle of the night for over an hour and then entirely too early this morning.   So the jumping  on my back and "combing" my hair with my cell phone while I'm trying to put pants on a head-butting toddler was a little too much for me.

Me:  "Edee, get off of me now."
Edee: " No, I wanna jump on you."
Me:  "Quit it!!  I need my space!!"
Edee:  "NO!  I need your space!"

Honestly, I'm still a little ticked off right now and don't quite find this humorous yet. But it's clever for a two-year-old, and maybe a few days from now I'll laugh about it.

Kidding

Home hunting is not fun with small children.  Not fun for us, not fun for them.   We've been looking for a place to live for the past two weeks and finally settled on an apartment.   It's a pretty nice place with great amenities, but still an apartment nonetheless.  I think it will be a nice change, but I know there will be some difficulties going from owning a two-story home to renting a two bedroom apartment.

We went to sign the lease last night at probably the worst time--around dinnertime.  While Daddy read the fine print, I wrangled the grumpy/hyperactive kids outside in front of the office.   They felt fairly limited in their activities since I wouldn't let them pick flowers, grab and throw mulch, and run out into the parking lot. Finally we settled on gathering little cherry-like berries that had fallen to the ground from an overhead tree. This kept them entertained for about 10 minutes.

Until Edee saw a bush with different berries.

Me:  "Edee, hands off.  Don't touch that bush or those berries."
Edee:  "Awwww.  Mooooommmmy.  You gotta be kiddin' me."
Me: (Did she really just say that to me?) "I'm not 'kidding you.'  I'm serious.  Don't touch them."

A few minutes later she went for the berries again.

Me:  "Edee.  I said 'no'."
Edee:  "Moooooommy.  You gotta be kiddin' me."
Me:  "Edee.  I'm not kidding. I'm serious.  Touch them again and we go inside."
Edee:  "Aww Mommy.  You kiddin' and serious-n' me."

How does she come up with these things which I have no response for?

Spider

We've been staying at a Residence Inn for the past 10 days.  Hotel life has had it's adventures.  I don't mind it much, usually, but I'm getting to the point where having a place of our own just might out-weigh having someone else doing the cooking and cleaning.

Yesterday as the kids and I were getting ready to head out to look at yet another apartment, I noticed a huge, black, menacing spider on the bathroom floor.  I try to be brave about spiders.  I really do.  My bravery usually consists of grabbing the vacuum and sucking the creepy things up (don't tell me how they go on to live in the vacuum and lay eggs or something, that's not how it works in my head.  Out of sight, out of mind).  Since I was short a vacuum, and it's hard for me to fathom getting close enough to kill it, my reaction was instead to squeal and shut the bathroom door.  I was tempted to just leave it for the cleaning lady to deal with when I saw just how large the crack under the door was--the spider could easily escape and be anywhere waiting for us on the dark navy blue carpets.  I couldn't handle that thought.

Edee had been observing my freak out episode.  I was telling her and Chicken to stay away from the bathroom while I got the spider.  Edee could sense my anxiety, so when I opened the door and we found the gross critter,  she yelled, "GET IT, MOMMY!!!  SMASH IT WIT YOU SHOES MOMMY!!  YOU CAN DO IT MOMMY!  SMASH IT!!!"

So I did smash it with my shoe, while screaming and convulsing with disgust and terror.  But my little cheerleader helped give me the courage.  After I had stomped down on it she yelled, "YOU DID IT, YAY MOMMY!", clapped her hands and gave me a high five.  She was so proud of me!

I have a pretty awesome two-year old.

Sibling Rivalry, Part II (read 'Part I' first)

Driving Somewhere in the middle of New Jersey:

Chicken: "Go."
Edee: "I not going anywhere, Chicken!"
Chicken:  "Go."
Edee: "I not going anywhere, Chicken!!!"
Chicken: "......Go."

You can imagine how the rest of our drive through Jersey went.

Sibling Rivalry, Part I

I'm amazed how sibling rivalry between my kids seemed to be there from almost day one of Chicken's birth. I know it's natural for older kids to be jealous of younger ones, but for some reason I thought it would be something that developed over time and not be such an issue with my now one and two-year-old.  

I don't like it....but sometimes it can be pretty darn funny.  

One example was while we were driving a few hundred miles from our old home to our new town.   Long car rides with toddlers aren't always so fun.   There is often a lot of whining and crying and stops at random places (and playgrounds) to change diapers and let little legs run loose. 

This is one of the conversations from the back seat while we were somewhere in Pennsylvania.  Note that Chicken is still a babbler and I'm pretty sure he wasn't saying what Edee claimed he was.  But, I'm fairly confident he knew he had the power to evoke a reaction out of her, and liked it.

Chicken:  "Ma."

Edee:  "I not your mommy, Chicken!!"

Chicken:  "Ma."

Edee:  "I NOT your mommy, Chicken!!"

Chicken:  "..........Ma."

Edee:  "I NOT YOUR MOMMY!!!!"

Chicken:  "..........Ma."

Edee:  "GRRRRRR!!! ARRRGGGGHH!  CHICKEN!!!  I.  NOT.  YOUR.  MOMMY!!!"

Chicken: "............................Ma."

Lather, rinse, and repeat for the next 20 miles.  Welcome to my life.

Sickness

It's been a crazy month in our household.  We are getting ready to move and in the process of trying to pack, sell our house, and find a new place to live.

To add to the madness, Edee became sick on Sunday.  Sickness hasn't made her any less quotable.  We've been hearing several of these:

"I'm yill yick, Mommy."  Translation: 'I'm still sick, Mommy'....just in case I've forgotten.

"I'm yick mommy, I nee anoder mowie."  Sickness is an excuse to rot in front of the T.V. all day in our house I guess.


Later, as Daddy and I were talking:

Daddy: "I wonder how she got sick."
Me:  "Could have been from anywhere or anyone."
Daddy:  "Edee, who do you know who's sick?"
Edee (in a pathetic, sobbing voice, pointing to her chest with both hands):  "MEEEEEEEEE!"

Diaper Change

Daddy wrangles Edee for a diaper change and proceeds to change her. I'm sitting on the couch.

Daddy:  "Oh this is a weird one..."  He proceeds to give a graphic description of Edee's poop.
Me:  "Spare me the details."
Daddy: "But it is--"
Me:  "Really? Do you not think I've seen enough weird poop?  With the past almost 3 years of babies in diapers I believe I've had my fair share."
Edee: "HA HA HA, it not poop!!  It chicken nuggets!!"
Daddy: "Chicken nuggets?"
Me:  "Wha......wait, did you use the word 'nugget' when you felt the need to tell me all about the contents of her diaper?"
Daddy:  "Oh, I guess I did."
Edee:  "An a arb-a-cue yash!"
Daddy: "I have no idea what she said."
Me (laughing):  "She said 'and barbeque sauce', ha ha."

I'm really glad I didn't change that diaper.

Walmart

Edee: "Mommy, I wan a go a Wah-mart a day."
Me:  "Why do you want to go to Walmart?"
Edee:  "Uh, I wan a get a yion, an da tigers, an a animals...yike dat."
Me:  "We are going to have to ask Daddy, those things cost money, hon.  Do you have any money?"
Edee:  "No. You, you, YOU ha money, Mommy!  It in your purse.  One money (holding up both of her pointer fingers from each hand).  No, you ha TWO monies, Mommy."
Me:  "I think it's more money than that to buy a tiger at Walmart."
Edee: "Oh oh oh, a COW.  I wan a mommy cow, an a daddy cow, an a baby cow!!"
Me: "That is a lot of money to buy all those cows."
Edee:  "Mmm, one cow?  Ooooo OOOooo OOOOO, a baby cow.  Peeeeeease?"
Me:  "We'll ask Daddy, maybe you can earn some money for a baby cow.  What can you do to help mommy today to get some money?"
Edee: "Uh.....hmmmm....pee on da potty, be a big girl, (mutter mutter), an boy parts. yike dat."
Me:  ".....what about boy parts?"
Edee: "yike a boy parts. Yike dat"
Me:  "Hummm, well...."  We refer to anatomical differences between males and females in our house, for the time-being, as 'girl parts' and 'boy parts', so I'm intrigued about what she is trying to say, but veer back to the most important matter at hand,  "Do you want to go sit on the potty?"
Edee: "No, I already peed in my diah-per ah in my jammies."
Me:  Big sigh.
Edee:  "I need a make a yist, mommy, fo a baby cow at Wah-mart!!"

So, she made her "list" before we went to Walmart--after I changed her diaper and out of her jammies, of course.   I know it may be too much to expect my two-year-old to understand budgeting skills, but is it too much to ask that she pees on the potty?  

Possesive

I'm in the kitchen, putting away dishes.  Chicken is in his highchair, eating (more like throwing) peas.  Edee had been bouncing around doing one thing or another, until suddenly, she is clutching my legs and starts yelling at Chicken.

Edee: "MINE!  My mommy.  MY mommy.  MINE!"
Chicken:   *cute baby chuckle* (He is thinking this is great.  I find it quite humorous myself, though I'm getting  slighting agitated about only being able to move my feet 2-3 inches at a time to get to the dishes).
Edee:  "No Chicken!!!!!  My mommy!!  MY MOMMY!"
Chicken:  "Ba ba."
Edee:  "ARRRRRGGGH.  NOOO!!  IT MY MOMMY! MINE!! NAH YOURS,  MINE!!  GRRRRR."

Now I don't claim to be the most proficient baby-babble translator, but last time I checked, "Ba ba" was not a rebuttal declaring sole ownership of one's mother.  I very well could be wrong....

Oh Dear.

While the kids were napping Saturday, Daddy and I started prepping our bay window in the living room to be painted.  We took down the window treatments and taped around all the trim.

Edee woke up from her nap, came walking into the living room, and spotted the window.  Bewilderment clouded her face as her eyes scanned the unrecognizable window from corner to corner.  Finally her confused eyes met mine.

Edee (looking down, sadly): "Oh de-ah."
Me:  "The window looks different, huh."
Edee (sighing):  "The widow is bue." (blue...from the painters tape).

I almost feel like I did something wrong to have recieved so much disapproval.

 

Mood Swings

Me:  "Edee we are going to go to the store once we're dressed.  Go get some clothes on and I'll get changed too."
Edee (sitting on the floor and throwing her hands down on her lap): "Humph. I'm mad.  I don't WAN to go to the store again.  Humph.  I'm MAD!  Grrrr. I DON wanna GO to the store.   Forever!!!"
Me: "Wow....you don't want to ever go to the store ever again?  Well....I need to go to the store, we need food.  What would you rather do instead? "
Edee (all the sudden the mad voice is gone, sweet happy voice instead):  "Mommy I wan to go to the store wit you.  Lemme hep you get dessed."  She jumps up, runs over to my dresser opens my drawer, pulls out a pair of jeans, then to another drawer to get a shirt, and hands them to me. "Its your wav-rit (favorite), mommy, bue pants."
Me: "Thanks Edee.  I do like to wear blue pants.  What color shirt did you get for me?"
Edee: "Purple!  Purple is your wav-rit too!  It my wav-rit too!  Oh wait."  She runs to her room and gets herself a purple shirt.  I help her find some blue pants.  "We match, mommy!  Yook!"
Me:  "Look at that.  We do match indeed."

As we finished getting ready to go to the store, in matching apparel, I had to tell myself that this intense, fast mood swing wasn't a symptom of multiple personality disorder....it was just a reminder that Edee is 100%, through and through, female...and so my daughter.

Singing

Me, holding Chicken and singing:  "If you're happy and you know it clap your hands...."
Edee (eating her breakfast):  You a not a baby, mommy, you a ah-most a big girl!"
Me: "Almost?" I turn and resume singing and playing with Chicken.
Edee: "Yop (stop) making dat yound!!"
Me:  "What sound?  Singing?"
Edee: "I don wan you yinging ah day!"
Me (confirming what I heard with Daddy): "Did she just tell me she doesn't want me singing all day?"
Daddy confirms.
Edee runs over to us from the table.
Edee (throwing her arms down by her sides in frustration):  "You 'posed to be a big girl, mommy,  you 'posed to be a big girl!"

I would never have thought that me singing songs like "If You're Happy and You Know It" could be deemed as age inappropriate by my two-year-old.

Wow!

Chicken's word of the week has been, "Wow!".  He discovered it Monday evening while we were gathered together as a family on our deck watching the sunset.  Daddy and I had pointed to the sky with it's mottled cotton-candy and fire orange clouds on the bluest of blue backdrops and had exclaimed, "Wow!".  Chicken immediately followed suit, and it's stuck ever since.  The most commonplace things will warrant a "wow" from him.  I love it; even though we hear it over and over again he says it with all the awe and wonderment the word deserves.  It causes me reflect on what it must be like to see the world and all of it's simple joys through such fresh eyes.  What a sweet little blessing he is.

Yummy

Edee:  "I want yum-ting to eat!"  There are days when I'll hear this dozens of times.  I'm not exaggerating.
Me: "What do you want to eat?"  I had just fed her breakfast, so I know she wasn't really hungry and had a hunch of what the answer might be.
Edee:  "Ummmm....ummm....hmm....." That's a surprise, nine times out of ten the answer has been an immediate 'chocolate chips'.
Me:  "How about some popcorn."  Popcorn has been another recent favorite request.
Edee:  "No, not popcorn!!  Popcorn not yummy in my tummy!"
Me:  "Not 'yummy in your tummy', eh?  What do you want then?"  I'm opening the fridge at this point to see what we have.  It's the end of the month and there's not much remaining inside.
Edee:  "JUICE!!  Juice, juice, JUICE!  Juice is yummy in my tummy, mommy."

Enough said.

Please

Edee: "I want pay-dough!!  I want pay-dough now!"
Me:  "That is not a very polite way to ask to have playdough.  You need to say, 'Excuse me, mommy'..."
Edee: "Coo-sie, Mommy, I want to pay wit my pay-dough now."
Me:  "You need to say please, also."
Edee: "Peeease ah-so."

Lunch

Edee and Chicken are sitting in their booster chair and high chair, eating lunch.  I'm in the kitchen making myself lunch.

Edee (laughing loudly):  "HA HA HA, the pig BURPED at her mommy!!  HA HA HA HA, that funny! The pig, Chicken!"
--Chicken starts laughing along with her--
Me:  "What happened?"
Edee:  "Burped at mommy!"
Me: "Who, Chicken?"
Edee:  "Hah ha, nooo!  The baby pig burped at her mommy.  A big one!  Ha ha ha ha ha!!"

No idea what she's talking about.  Both she and Clayton thought it was hilarious though.  I feel a little left out.

Tick

Me:  "What did you do with Daddy this morning when you were downstairs? Watch a movie?"
Edee:  "Um, no." Muttering some things I didn't understand, then, "Der was a tick."
Me:  "Did you say tick?"
Edee:  "Yeah!"
Me (thinking she has no idea what she's talking about):  "Do you know what a tick is?"
Edee:  "Um......hmmm."  She raised her index finger and started tapping her lips, looking up and around as if she were thinking, hard.  "It....umm.....ummmmm.....a tick......tick a......tick a big MEAN bug!!"
Me:  "It is a very mean bug." I've been super paranoid about ticks lately.  There has been a lot of buzz about them and the nasty diseases they carry this year.  *Shudder*  "You saw one downstairs?  What did it look like"
Edee: "Umm.....it ha big geen (green) eyes," very seriously.  She continued to talk very matter-of-factly, explaining more about this tick and what happened, but I couldn't for the life of me understand anything she was saying other than "den he ti-yit."
Me:  "Daddy killed it?"
Edee:  "Yeah."
Me:  "Oh my."

Turns out nothing of the sort happened today when I asked Daddy about the tick after he woke up from his nap.    We had found a tick two months ago that Daddy killed soon after discovery--maybe she thought since I seemed so alarmed and inquisitive about a tick she pulled that out of her memory to reassure me that the tick was dead?

Diamonds

Edee:  "Mommy, what dat in you ear-wing?"
Me:  "Diamonds" (not really real diamonds, but you know).
Edee:  "Oh." frowning and starting to fake sniffle. " I don have dimons in my ears."  Sniff sniff.

Fail....rhinestones...should've said rhinestones.  Though it will be interesting to see how Daddy reacts when she starts begging for diamond earrings.

Tantrum

I strongly *dislike* tantrums.  It seems the older Edee gets, the more of them she throws.

This morning we went through our more-or-less typical routine.  Chicken got up entirely too early.  Edee soon after.  Breakfast, walk, play downstairs, put Chicken down for his morning nap. I take my shower while he naps and Edee watches an episode of a show on my bed so I know she'll stay put and out of trouble.

Once the episode this morning was over I told her we were all done with shows.  Tantrum.  Full blown crying, throwing herself on the floor.  The whole process woke Chicken up.  As I went to fetch him from the crib, this is what I heard in the background

Edee (crying):  "I wanna moo-wee! Wa wa wa . Moo-wee!  I wanna watch a moo-wee.  Annoder one!  Annoder one! Peeeeeeease.  Just two more minutes....wa wa wa wa ...just two more....two more....just two more MOO-wees Mommy!"
At this point she had come down the hallway to the living room where Chicken and I were.
Edee: "Go back a-weep, Chicken!  Go back a-weep!"
Me:  "Edee, why do you want Chicken to go back to sleep?"
Edee:  "Cause I wan annoder moo-wee!  Go a-weep!"
Me:  "You were the one who woke him up with your crying."
Edee (realization coming over her face, thinking about it):  "Ty it again!  Ty it again, Chicken!"
Me:  "Try what again?"
Edee:  "Ty a go a-weep!!!"
Me:  "Sorry, it's not going to happen."
Edee (throwing herself dramatically into my arms):  "Bwaa wa wa, I am YAD Mommy"
Me: "I'm sad too."
Edee: sniff sniff "Yea! Me too."

Which marked the beginning of the end of the tantrum.  Now she and Chicken have both happily destroyed the living room and are jumping on couch cushions.  And it's only 10:30 am. There's still a lot of day for potential tantrum-throwing left.

Prayer

We try to have family prayer together each morning before Daddy goes to work.  Lately Edee has dreaded it--trying to talk her into sitting quietly for a whole minute or two apparently tops the list of worst ways to  torture a two-year old.

We are always trying out different techniques to get her to listen.  One day we told Edee it was time for prayer while she was playing with her toy giraffes.  Of course she ignored us, so we tried asking the giraffes to sit quietly for a moment.  Amazingly, the giraffes complied.   Daddy asked Edee if she wanted to help say the prayer.

Daddy: ".....Thank you for Edee"
Edee:  "...Dank you for Edee, and.....and.....jaffs (giraffes)....."  A little sly, proud-of-herself grin had crept on her face at this point.   I was peeking.
Daddy:  "Thank you for Chicken."
Edee:  "Dank you for Chicken jaff."
Daddy:  "Thank you for Mommy and Daddy."
Edee:  "Dank you for Mommy and Daddy jaff." The giraffes had stopped sitting quietly at this point and were instead jumping up and down.
Daddy:  "Please bless Daddy at work."
Edee:  "Bess daddy jaff at work."
Daddy:  "And Mommy at home."
Edee: "Mommy jaff with baby jaffes at home."
Daddy: "Help Edee have fun with mommy making a fruit..."
Edee (loudly interrupting): "PIZZA!!!!!"

The giraffes must have felt very blessed that day.  And yes, Edee did have fun making (more like eating all the topping faster than I could put them on) a fruit pizza with me.

Chocolate

Obsessions with chocolate must start at a young age.  The moment those kids taste it, it's all over.   I saw evidence of this, this morning.

Me:  "Are you going to finish your cereal?"
Edee:  "Hmmm.  Chocolate Muffins!!!"
Me:  "Chocolate muffins?  Mmmm, yummy, that sounds good!"
Edee:  "Yeah, yum, Chocolate Muffins."
Me:  "Well, we don't have any of those" (I don't think I've ever made or bought chocolate muffins, not sure where this is coming from).
Edee (calling out): "Chocolate Muffins?!  Chocolate Muffins?!  Where are you?" (little pause) "Awww, Chocolate Muffins aren't here, yet."
Me (wishing summoning chocolatey baked goods was that simple):  "Nope, sorry, no chocolate muffins."
Edee:  "Hmmm.  Chocolate Cereal!!?"
Me:  "We don't have that either."
Edee: "Aww."

She wiggled down from the table, leaving her plain, un-chocolatey cereal to get soggy in the bowl, and started playing with her toy lions almost immediately.  I overheard a little of their conversation as they gathered around a little plastic cup, "drinking" from it.  It went something like this:

Lion 1:  "Mmmm, chocolate milk!"
Lion 2:  "I wove dinking chocolate milk."
Lion 3: "Slurp slurp slup....chocolate milk....yummmm."

About an hour later, when I thought the whole chocolate matter was forgotten, I was asking Eva what she wanted to wear for the day and she replied, "Um, chocolate chips?"

I understand.  When chocolate is on the mind, it's hard to think of anything else.

Weapon

Me: "What do you have there?"

Edee:  "A weapon."

Me:  "A weapon?"

Edee:  "No.  A weapon."

Me:   "You mean a ribbon.  Rib-Bon.  Ribbon."

Edee:  "WEA-BBB-BLUB-BLAB-PLAAA-PPPPPLL- pon."

Me:  "Okay.  Right.  That."

Mercenary

We go to church every Sunday as a family, which is generally something Edee really looks forward to.  Last week while driving there we reminded her that she had to be reverent during sacrament meeting and then she could play with her friends in nursery afterwards.   For some reason she did not want to hear that and started throwing a tantrum (as best as she can being strapped in the carseat), yelling.

Edee:  "I don wanna go to mur-suh-nary!  No mur-suh-nary."

Me, to Daddy: "Did she just say she doesn't want to go to mercenary?"

Daddy: "Yeah."

Me:  "I know that mercenary is a word, but I don't know what it means."

Daddy: "I'm pretty sure it means someone that gets paid to kill people or something."

mer·ce·nar·y

  [mur-suh-ner-ee]  Show IPA adjective,noun, plural mer·ce·nar·ies.

adjective

1.

working or acting merely for money or other reward; venal.

2.

hired to serve in a foreign army, guerrilla organization, etc.

noun

3.

a professional soldier hired to serve in a foreign army.

4.

any hireling.

(http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/mercenary)

Well, I definitely learn something new from my kids every day.

Today when coming home from church Edee threw another tantrum all the sudden, yelling, "I want to do it again!!  I wanna do it again!!"  When I asked her what she wanted to do again she said, "Go to church!!"

She really does love church, nursery is one of the highlights of her week.  It just comes with tantrums for some reason.  

Attack

Heading to the grocery store yesterday, in the car:

Edee: GRRRRRR!
Me:  Are you crying back there?
Edee:  No!! I not crying!
Me:  Okay, are you frustrated?
Edee: Yeah!!
Me:  I'm sorry. Why are you frustrated?
Edee: Cause!  Chicken tacking me!!
Me: Chicken is attacking you??
Edee:  Yeah!!!!  He tacking me!!

I don't know what was going on back there, but Chicken, being strapped into his carseat, has very limited mobility, let alone attacking opportunities.   So begins the sibling accusations about what occurs when mom's back is turned....

Teeth

One morning this week I walked into the kitchen while brushing my teeth.  All the sudden Edee, wearing only her diaper and chowing down on a bowl of cereal, started laughing and said "Ha ha, you buh-shing(brushing) your wewoh (yellow) teef mommy.  Ha ha ha ha, weewoh teeth."

My only defense is that we are still working on colors.

Boo!

Chicken has taken leaps and bounds with his communication in just the past few days.  I love it, it is so precious.  He tries saying Edee's name now.  It started one day while at the park with friends--we were yelling across the playground equipment at his sister and he mimicked us-- his version is "Ah-wah".

 When I give him something tasty to eat he says "Mmmm" with a closed-mouth grin and a little happy bounce.   He's also pointing at things of interest now.  Yesterday he pointed up to the ceiling fan and proclaimed loudly, "RRRRR-ahr!" (the R's trilling) with a huge, proud smile.  Not exactly sure what he was trying to say, but he was so pleased with himself that I couldn't help giving him gigantic hug and kiss and told him how great that was. He might as well had repeated Shakespeare.

This morning I played peek-a-boo with him while changing his diaper--anything to occupy the little wiggly acrobat so I can get the job done.  He watched me with amusement and I saw his lips trying to shape what I'd say. When he was freshly diapered he hopped up, toddled quickly down the hall to Edee's room (we heard her stirring around in there), pushed open the door and said, "Boo!"

Can I please take you to Never-Never Land, little boy?  You are growing up entirely too fast for my liking.

Dora

Edee loves watching shows like Bubble Guppies, Dinosaur Train, and Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood.  They are all pretty cute shows. I don't mind if she watches a few episodes a day, it keeps her out of trouble for at least a little while.  She would watch ALL day if I let her and is constantly begging for a "moo-wee" (movie).

One show I don't love, but that she likes to watch occasionally, is Dora the Explorer.  I can see why kids love it, but my husband and I think it's just plain obnoxious.  Besides the fact that the characters are yelling at your kid from the screen (who talks like that?), if you happen to get a Dora song stuck in your head you better be aware that it will stay there on loop ALL day, for days--possibly weeks.  With an intense urge to burst out and sing it.  Loudly.  Not pleasant for you, not pleasant for those around you.

A Dora song must have been on repeat in Edee's head one day at church, because during the silence of a prayer I heard her little voice belt out "D-D-D-D-Dora!  D-D-D-D-Dora!"  She was sitting with friends down the row, so I sat helplessly, palm-on-face, stifling a giggle.

Last week my husband asked Edee to step off the mat so he could move the stroller.  Edee, as if on cue, started chanting "I'm da map, I'm da map, I'm da map....."(of course with a little skip-dance) while Daddy desperately tried to curtail it by telling her "No. NO, I said 'mat', not 'map'! Mat.  MAT!" As if that did any good.  The damage had already been done.  Dora music is like a bad infection.  Super contagious and hard to shake.

This morning I heard a new one.  "D-D-D-D-Edee! D-D-D-D-Edee!"   Dora obviously must have been on her mind because that's then what she chose to watch during movie time today.  If you must know, it is currently playing in the background as I type this.  Lucky me :)

                                              ....I'm the map, I'm the map, I'm the map......I'm the map...

No!!

Rough morning at our house so far.  Chicken awoke screaming bloody murder because his leg was stuck in the crib--and I sent Daddy to take care of it.  Edee woke up soon after, and they both decided to fill their diapers around the same time, on Daddy's watch.   I heard the pandemonium all from the comfort of my bed this morning.  Sadly the comfort didn't last long, and when I left it I had to face three crankies.  Oh joy. I got the little ones cereal and sat next to Daddy on the couch.

Daddy:  Edee, stop playing with your food!!!
Edee: NO!!!!!
Chicken (little echo in the back, but with just as much passion):  NAH!

Daddy and I looked at each other, wide-eyed.  Uh oh.....it begins.

Boobs

Edee ( matter-of-factly ):  "Mommy, you have big boobs."

Me:  "Um......"  I am not, let's say, well-endowed in the chest area, so this was the first (and most likely only) time I've been told I have big boobs.  Took me a little off-guard.  How to respond...

Edee: "Daddy has big boobs too!"

Me: ".......Okay ....... hum."  I'm thinking to myself that this is probably also the first and only time in his life that he'll hear he has big boobs.  Still don't have a good response.

Edee: "I have YITTLE boobs Mommy"

Me:  "Yeah...I suppose that's true."

Edee (excited that I'm finally catching on here): "Yeah!  And Chicken and my friends have yittle boobs, too! Yittle boobs!  And Mommy Auto has big boobs, and Daddy Auto has big boobs!!" (the Autos are friends of ours).

Me:  "Is that right?"  I'm grabbing my phone at this point to send a text to the Autos, informing them that I was told that they have big boobs.  Apparently that was a first for them as well.  Go figure!

Morning

Edee loves the movie The Lion King.  A lot.  She has toy lions, tigers, and cheetahs that she has named after all the lions in the movie.  Lately every night at bedtime she'll ask me to tell her a "yi-yon" story about Simba and Nala.  I'm starting to run on empty for ideas about what two lion cubs can do together in the African Savannah since at the end of the day I've usually exhausted my creativity limits.

There is a scene towards the beginning of The Lion King where Mufasa and Sarabi are peacefully sleeping through the early morning hours--until Simba comes barging in, pouncing all over them and demanding that his dad wakes up.  Every morning in our house is JUST like that.  Edee wakes up, we hear her feet pounding on the floor as she runs (always running, I don't think the girl know how to walk) to our room.  Then she proceeds to jump all over me while saying "Mooommmy!  Wake up!  Wake up Mommy!  I want yum-ting to eat.  Open your eyes! Peeeeeeeeeeeeeese.  I want to eaaaat," often in a very whiny, desperate, I'm-starving-and-don't-think-I-can-make-it voice.  She's relentless. This is often combined with her yanking on my arm trying to pull me out of bed and attempting to pry my eyelids open.   What a great way to start the day.

One morning earlier this week as I awoke to my little cub's typical rantings about wanting to eat, I rolled over to ask her what she wanted for breakfast.  She looked at me a little weird for a second, then her hand slowly raised to plug her nose.  "Ew, yucky.  Yum-ting's in my nose,"  she said.  Whenever Edee smells something it's always "Yum-ting's in my nose." (Something's in my nose).  I laughed when I realized it must have been my awesome morning breath.....or should I say lion's breath?

Gesundheit

Chicken, at 10 months, has a mini vocabulary all of his own now.  He says bye-bye, hello ("ey-yo"), dadda, mama, all-done (ah-da!) and more ("mma!").  His first word, however, was not the usual prided "mommy" or "daddy" most parents come to expect.  Instead it was "Ah-choo!"  That's right, the sound of a sneeze.

It was pretty funny to hear.  If someone sneezed we would hear a little baby-voice echo "AAA-chhhh!", even from another room across the house. A real sneeze or a pretend one was sure to get either a chubby-baby belly-laugh or parroted version in response.

Edee figured this out quickly as well.  One day while I was nursing Chicken, Edee sneezed while playing with her toys.  Chicken unlatched, whipped around and started laughing uncontrollably.  Of course Edee thought that was great. When Chicken would turn around to finish his meal, she'd fake an "ah-choo" to get the same reaction.  I think I eventually gave up feeding him because they were both having hysteric giggle fits.

Fast forward to a few weeks later.  I was again nursing Chicken and Edee asked for a drink (it seems like the second I sit down to nurse she all the sudden wants something).  Like I usually do when this happens, I told her to wait until Chicken was finished, then I'd get her whatever she wanted.  Sometimes she would get whiney or throw a little tantrum, but not this time.  It was almost like I watched the light-bulb go off in her head as she started to wind up to whine, stopped, looked at Chicken, walked over bent her face over by his head and said, "Ah-choo."  I knew exactly what she was doing--now Chicken was done eating and she could get what she wanted! "I want my dink, now."

 She still uses this distraction technique whenever I tell her she has to wait for Chicken to finish eating.   Chicken has wised up and doesn't fall for it as often anymore, but every once in a while Edee will get at least a giggle out of him.

Vacuum

Vacuuming the carpets seems to be the most exciting part of the day for us a lot of the time (I sort of feel like a lame mom when I type that).  It's exciting for me because the house feels decently clean, if only for a moment.  I'm not exactly sure what the kids love so much about it, but love it they do.  The moment I pull that sucker out (ha ha...sucker...) , the house fills with thrilled shrieks and the sound of four little happy feet happily thumping about. Chicken likes to chase the vacuum with his cute, choppy waddle-toddle; while Edee darts away in a combination of fright and delight.

Today during the pandemonium she got trapped at the end of the hallway with all the doors surrounding her shut.  As the vacuum and I approached her she yelled out in genuine terror, "NO, NO MOMMY NO!   DON'T VACUUM ME UP!!"  I had to chuckle, but I felt a little unsettled as I thought about it.  The fear she had probably came from me joking with her about the vacuum sucking up her toys if she didn't pick them up off the floor (okay, more like trying to creatively manipulate her into picking up her toys, if we're being honest).  It's pretty amazing what impressions an off-hand comment will make on a little person, because now she thinks the vacuum can suck her up.  I do find humor in it, but it makes me want to be more conscious about what I say.

Especially when later, while playing around quietly with her favorite toy lions,  I heard her saying over and over again: "Oh-lee cap! Oh-lee cap!! (mutter mutter mutter)  Oh-lee cap!"  It took me a few minutes of mulling around in my mind what she was saying to realize that I must say "Holy Crap" a lot more than I thought.  I know it could be worse...but still not exactly proud of that!

Sad Dad

Watching my husband change a messy diaper is quite the spectacle.  You would think that he was prepping for surgery the way he gets ready for it--he appears as if he is bracing himself, gets his sleeves rolled up, and then pulls the neck of his shirt up over his nose.  All while scowling, and sometimes gagging.  It becomes an especially big ordeal when there is a blow-out that he has to take care of.  Orders are barked to me to get more wipes, a plastic bag, or towel, while Edee is alerted to stay where she is and not move.  It's serious business when daddy is dealing with poop.

A couple weeks ago he had come in from trying to fix our broken-down vehicle outside.  Frustration was written all over his face as he pulled out the laptop to try to troubleshoot online.  Edee came up and put a hand on his cheek and said,

"You sad, daddy?"
"Yes Edee, I'm sad."
"Oh, you sad daddy," voice full of empathy,  "Did Chicken poop out?"

Great assumption.  If dad is sad then Chicken must have had a blow out.  We both busted up laughing.

Another one just yesterday as I was changing Chicken's diaper (I've wrote before how she always has something to say while I'm changing him).  This one was brilliant.

"Mommy did Chicken poop out of his diaper?"
"No Edee, he didn't poop out."
"Oh.  Did he poop out of daddy's bum??"

Snort.

My Friend

I love those tender, heart-warming mommy-moments that occur on occasion.  The kind that make all the long nights, tantrums, and frustration worth it.

I had one yesterday as Edee climbed on my lap and wanted me to play "yiy-yons" (lions) with her.  As we started to play she leaned up, gave me a kiss on the cheek, and said "Mommy, you're my fend (friend)."  I kissed her back with a big hug and told her she was my friend too.

I hope that is always so, little monkey.

Diapers

Both my kids are in diapers.  I wish Edee wasn't.

We gave potty training a valiant effort--even reserving our entire Memorial Day weekend for the sole purpose of helping Edee become "a big girl" and use the potty.  Let's just say it was NOT the best experience I've ever had, and unfortunately what little progress we made with her reverted entirely within a few weeks.   So we're not pushing it for now, it's too much stress.  She told us she wants to be a baby and wear diapers, like Chicken, so two in diapers it is.  Oh the adventures.

While Edee is rather cavalier about sitting in her own mess, she feels a need to comment while I'm changing Chicken's diapers. At first it was always the same, "Ew, wewoh (yellow) baby poop, gross!!"  But today I heard a completely new one for the first time.

Edee: "Mommy, what is that??"
Me: "I'm changing Chicken's poopy diaper"
Edee: "Oh, strawberries??  Right?"
Me:  "Um......no, poop." (Strawberries??  And no, we hadn't eaten any recently so there were definitely no strawberries in that diaper).
Edee:  "Oh, poop, right."

Yup.  Just to add, I would have never guessed before becoming a parent how much one can talk about poop.   At first it's a little foreign, then it gets to the point where you think, "why wouldn't we talk about poop?"

Spaghetti

I never used to understand why parents would feed their young kids spaghetti.  On first glance it seems like one of the absolute worst foods you could give to a toddler or baby--long, squishy noodles that are easy to throw (and stick) to everything, covered in a nice stain-friendly red sauce to boot.  The truth is feeding kids is just plain messy no matter what they are eating, but I have still avoided feeding it to my kids.  Plus, my husband is not a spaghetti fan so I haven't bothered.

The other day though I noticed a few pasta boxes that are a couple months past their "best by" dates and decided to use them up (yeah I know, some of you are thinking that's gross--I just say "eh."), and I opted to make spaghetti.

Turns out that both of my kids liked it, which is a rare occasion in our household.   "Not too bad" I thought to myself, "maybe we should have spaghetti more often!"   As they were eating I bustled around the kitchen getting a few things together (husband was working late and I was getting his plate ready for when he got home).  I looked up at one point to see the inevitable--Edee had taken those thin long noodles during the whole three minutes my back was turned and slopped them on the table, herself. and the floor.   And of course Chicken's face, hair, and chest were all super saucy.  Sigh.

Me:  "Edee, what are you doing?  Making a big mess??"
Edee:  "No mommy, I making a yittle (little) big mess!"

Ahh.....yep.  In reality that was a pretty accurate statement.  Her big messes really are BIG messes, and in comparison that really was a little, big mess.  I'd like to know what she considers a big big mess....then again maybe I don't!!

Bedtime

"Edee" is a nickname for my two-year old, by my two-year-old.  Until recently that's how she and her friends would pronounce her name....."Edee", which doesn't really sound much like her actual name, but cute all the same.  "Chicken" is Edee's little 10-month-old brother.  The way she says the word "chicken" and his name sounds exactly the same, so Edee and Chicken it is!

My first post is of the conversation that motivated me to finally start this blog (which I had been mulling about in my mind for over 6 months now).  All parents know the dreaded bedtime is not a favorite of the young ones....and that they will do whatever they can think of to get out of it.  Edee is no exception.

Edee (as she's coming down the hall from her room, supposed to be in bed): "Moooommy, will you play with m--hey! Is that a cookie?"
Me (as i'm stuffing golden Oreos into my mouth, and the couch): "No, go back to bed"
Edee: "What dat in your mouth? A yellow cookie? Let me see."
Me: "Fine, it's a cookie. It's all gone now, go to bed."
Edee: "Ha ha ha, I see it in your teeth."
Me: "Yep, it's bedtime."
Edee: "Moooooooommy, I want to look in your eyes, lay down wit me. I'm scared."
Me: "No you're not Edee, go to bed please."
Edee (with puppy dog eyes, and starting to stroke my arm): "Mooooommmmy, I love your arm, and nose, and your elbow, and your armpit....hey, where'd your armpit go?"

What goes through that girl's little mind.....I just don't know.