Bus Treasures

Edee had just got off of the bus from school, when she announces, "I'm just going upstairs, for no reason!!"

Daddy and I raise our eyebrows at each other. Clayton runs up after her.

Me (yelling up the stairs):  What reason do you have for going upstairs for no reason?
Edee:  Just no reason!  I'll be right back!
Me (to Daddy):  What was that about?
Daddy:  I don't know.  Something's going on.

She comes back downstairs.

Daddy: Edee, I need you to be honest.  Why did you run upstairs?
Edee:  I, uh...mm...I just found something on the bus.  It's not dirty!
Me:  Okay, go get it and show it to us right now, please.
Edee:  Okay.

She leaves and comes back excitedly holding out something small in her hand and hands it to Daddy.

Edee:  It smells so good!
Me:  What is--
Daddy:  Aw, gross!
Me:  Ew! Edee!  Gross, that's a dried out piece of chewed up gum.  Go wash your hands right now.

Chicken is sitting there smiling at me.

Me:  Did you touch it too?

He nods slowly, still grinning.

Me:  Go wash your hands!!

Kids!!!!!!!!

Infinity

Chicken:  I love you a thousand.
Me:  Well I love you two thousand.
Chicken:  I love you infinity.
Me:  What? Who taught you that? I thought we were just going to one up each other, but you already got me beat!!
Chicken: Edee told me dat.
Me:  Well then.  I love you to the moon and back.
Chicken:  Wow, dat's weally a lot,  I fink dat is a more dan one hundred!

At least I still know how to impress him :)

Force Field

The past few days I've been letting the kids type on the the computer.  It started when Chicken asked if he could write "I love you Mom" one day while I was typing something.  Of course I said yes, how could you deny such a  request?  I'll type up the sentence they want, and they copy it underneath.  Chickens sentences are always more or less the same despite my attempts to branch out--he requests slight variations like "I love you Mommy", "I love you Ma Ma Ma", and his personal favorite, " I love you Mommy-choo".  Edee will let me use her school "sight words" in sentences.

I had set it up for Edee and Chicken to take turns typing then walked into the kitchen.

Edee:  Uh, Mom!  We need help, Chicken did something to da word.
Me:  Okay, coming.  What happened?
Edee:  Well, someting happened dat like, a blue kind of force field went around da word.
Me:  Ha...what?  A force field?  That means it's "high-lighted".
Edee:  Yeah he high-lighted a word.

Awesome, I will never view high-lighting the same.

Real Life

It's over a week past the 2016 presidential elections.  This morning, at 5:00 am, both Chicken and I are laying on the couch, sick, still trying to fully wake up.  I don't think I've said a word yet, just sitting in a daze.

Out of the blue:

Chicken:  Mom...are Hillaly Clinton and Donald Twump weal life?
Me: Wha.....Huh??
Chicken:  Are Hillaly Clinton and Donald Twump weal life.
Me:  Uh yeah...they are in real life.  (Unfortunately, I add to myself).
Chicken:  Do dey go to church?
Me:  Um....uh, well,  yeah I think they might sometimes....why?
Chicken:  I don't tink dey do.
Me:  You don't? How come?
Chicken:  Because dey are being mean! Dey don't know about Jesus.  If dey did knowed about Jesus dey would be nicer and wouldn't be so mean.
Me: Well....You have a valid point there, buddy.

From the mouths of babes. The things that mull around in these little minds!!

*note: I didn't know the four-year-old had a clue about any of this madness.  The only conversation Daddy and I had about any of this around the kids was over a week ago, after Edee (the-five-year-old) had come home from school after election day upset about the results (I also had no idea they talk politics in kindergarten. They sure do, rather intensely if you ask me.  Eyes opened; and so much for keeping my kids ignorant of such things so young)!

Broth

Me:  Chicken, finish up your soup.
Chicken:  I only like the soup part.  Not the vegetables and udder fings.
Me:  You don't like the kale?
Chicken:  Or dese udder fings either.  Only the soup.
Daddy:  I hate to break it to you...but all the sausage and vegetables are part of the soup Chicken.
Me:  So you're trying to say you only like the broth, Chicken.
Chicken:  Yeah I only like the bra (slurping up his broth).
--sidelong glance between Me and Daddy---
Edee: CHICKEN SAID HE LIKES THE BRA!!!
Me:  Brothhhhhh, Chicken.

You can't be too careful with words such as these.

Cemetery

We drove down to Cape Cod this weekend for a Cranberry Harvest Celebration.  As we approached our destination, we passed through a cemetery--a very New England-styled one; with old headstones surrounding us on either side; and tall, beautiful trees, dropping their leaves in a variety of colors.

Just as I was thinking to myself how utterly lovely it all was, I hear from the backseat from four-year-old Chicken in a quiet, slightly disgusted, matter-of-fact voice:

"Oh yuck, some people died."

Daddy and I both burst into laughter.  Edee and Chicken thought our reactions were pretty great so they joined in too.

Death itself really isn't a humorous thing to me.  But his perception of it in that moment was.

Alexa

We got an Amazon Echo a few months back.  "Alexa", as it's called, has become a handy and well-used addition to our family.  Fortunately, it doesn't recognize the kids' attempts to use it, or else we'd be listening to lame jokes and the song "Everything is Awesome" all day, every day.

As I'm making breakfast this morning, still slightly groggy.

Me:  Alexa--how many tablespoons in a quarter cup?
Alexa: There are 4 tablespoons in a quarter cup.
Me: Thanks.
Edee:  Mom--why did you say "thanks" to Alexa?  She's a robot!
Me:  I know....I said it because... I want to be a good example to you guys in using my manners....
(maybe slightly true, maybe I was mostly just tired...)
Edee:  Mom, you do not need to say dat to a robot.  She's not even that helpful!!
Me:  Yes she is, she helps us all the time.
Edee:  Remember? She doesn't even know anything about kiwis or where dey are from.
Me:  Alexa--where do kiwi fruit grow?
Alexa:  Sorry, I can't find the answer to the question.
Edee:  She doesn't even know where strawberries grow.
Me:  Alexa--what are strawberries?
Alexa:  Fraganaria times ananassa, a fraganaria species of plant.
Me:  See?
Edee:  Yeah, but she doesn't know where dey are from!
Me:  But.....okay, Alexa--where are strawberries from...
Alexa:  Sorry, I can't find the answer to the question.
Edee:   See?  She doesn't really even know dat much!!!

I was too tired and groggy to argue.  Silly me for thinking thanking a robot would make any type of impact.  Alexa and I were both proved to be fools.