Fun

Edee:  Mom!  Where else are we going today?
Me:  Nowhere else.
Edee:  What!!??  Why aren't we going anywhere else!!?
Me:  Edee. Good grief, we've barely been home today.  We spent all morning with friends on a hike.  I bought you guys lunch.  You went to speech and played on the playground for a long time.  Plus you played outside with the new trikes for an hour.  Where else would you want to go today?
Edee:  I don't know, somewhere else!
Me:  Honey, we did lots of fun things today and it's getting close to dinner. Please be grateful!
Edee:  I am gateful!  ....I dust haven't had enough fun yet.....

Sheesh.  When someone discovers a source of endless fun, please pass the knowledge along to me.  I have a four year old who thinks she's in desperate need.

Cheese

Edee:  I'm hungry!
Me:  What would you like to eat?  Yogurt or cheese and crackers?
Edee:  Cheese and cackers.  Hot.  And....heavy on da teese.
Me:  Heavy on the cheese, huh? (she's never used this expression before)
Edee: .....yeah.
Me:  Hmm. Alright.

I prepare her Triscuits with more cheese than usual and heat it up in the microwave to melt the cheese.  This is a common lunch for my kids when I can't think of anything else to feed them.

Me:  Here you go.
Edee:  Hey...I said heavy on da teese!
Me:   Yes.  Look at those crackers.  They are very heavy with cheese.
Edee: .....Mom....what does 'heavy on the teese' mean?
Me:  It means there's a lot of cheese.  Why did you ask for it if you didn't know what it meant?
Edee:  I heard it on Strawberry Shortcake.
Me:  Mmmm.  I see.

F-bomb

Edee:  Mom, what is an F-bomb?
Me: What.
Edee:  What is a F-bomb?
Me: Where did you hear that?
Edee:  You said it mom!
Me:  ME!?
Edee:  Yeah, you were talking on da phone and said someone was dropping an F-bomb and we had to drive away.
Me:  What....
Edee:  In da car at Target!
Me:  Oh....oh yeah....

The memory flooded back:  We were in the car, at the light outside the Target Parking lot, one car behind me, another to the side of me.  Apparently one cut off the other in the parking lot and there was a lot of honking and yelling surrounding us.  I had answered a phone call at the time and told my friend I needed to call her back since a fight was brawling, and people were getting out of their car and dropping the F-bomb at each other and we were in the middle.   This happened at least one, if not two months ago.

Me:  Oh, okay I remember.  The 'F-bomb' is a bad word people say.
Edee:  Why is it bad?
Me:  It's not a nice word... and causes people to feel sad or angry.
Edee:  So why do people drop it?
Me: Er, well....they say it...to 'drop it' is an expression...because bombs are dropped before they explode.....but um..... they just shouldn't say it because it's not a nice word.

Not a thing goes by these kids, I'll tell you! It's a wonder that it's been swirling around her mind for this long, wondering about it.  I'm glad she remembered the expression "F-bomb" opposed to the full expletive being shouted around us!  Not ready for that!

Leg

Chicken's seasonal allergies seem to be acting up.  Ragweed is out, apparently.  I've been giving him Children's Claritin in the morning.

Chicken:  *coughing and sputtering*
Me:  You okay, Chicken?
Chicken:  Yeah.  My froat.
Me:  Sounds like your medicine went down the wrong pipe, eh?
Edee:  Down da wong pipe!?
Me:  Yeah--there are two different "pipes" in your throat.  One is called your trachea and goes to your lungs, the other is called your esophagus and helps get food and drinks to your stomach.  Sometimes you cough if you drink something that blocks the air to your trachea; we say, 'it's going down the wrong pipe'.
Edee:  OOOOhh.

About an hour later, driving to church.

Chicken:  My LEG!! My leg hurts!!
Me:  Aw.  What's wrong?
Chicken:  Da Medayine!
Me: I don't think you need any medicine for it buddy...just tell me what's wrong.
Chicken:  Dere's medayine IN my leg!
Me:  Okay when we get to church we'll hang you upside down and shake it out.
Chicken:  NO!
Me:  I'm kidding....what's wrong with your leg?
Chicken:  Wah!! Da medayine in dere!

Then it dawns on me that when I was explaining the different pipes that morning he must have heard and internalized "legs" instead of "lungs"...

Me:  Oh, did your medicine go down the wrong pipe into your leg?
Chicken:  Yeah!!  It did!!
Me:  Ah ha ha ha.

Oh Chicken.  He's the best.  Daddy and I got a good laugh out of that one.

Happily Sipping

Edee:  Mom, did you know dat miwk is in da handle of da miwk dug (milk jug)?
Me:  Yeah, that's pretty cool about milk, huh?
Edee:  No, it's not dust miwk, it's any dink (drink) in da dug.
Me:  You are right about that.  Any liquid in the jug would go into the handle if full enough.
Edee:  Yeah, and in da coffee dugs too.
Me:  Mug.  Well, most mugs don't have empty handles like milk jugs.
Edee:  Well, if you are in da office, happiwee sipping, da liquid or coffee could run down da handle of da mug.
Me:  Hmmm....okay.

I find this funny for a couple reasons.  1)  We don't drink coffee, yet she seems to know that most Americans, especially business Americans as it seems, are obsessed with coffee, and 2) the term "happily sipping" being part of the mental image she's expressing.

Dog Names

Edee and Chicken are looking at a book with a line of puppies.

Edee:  Dis one is named Rapunzel. This one is Belle.  This one is Anna.  This one is Elsa.
Chicken:  Dis one is named Poop.  And dat one is poop.

Is it obvious we have a girly girl and an all boy?

Bumble Bee

Me:  Good night Chicken.  You are such a sweet boy and I'm so proud of you.  You are going to grow up to be one amazing person.
Chicken:  Night Mommy.  You ah a 'weet Mommy.  You are goin' to gow up to be a bumble bee.
Me:  Did I mention that you are pretty darn funny, too?